$500 Reward: Who Owned These Antique Gold False Teeth

Extra! Extra! Extra! 

$500.00 Reward or $300.00, $200.00, $100.00 Prize

Do you know who owned these Antique False Teeth? If you do, and can credibly prove it, we will reward the first person to do so with $500.00

$500.00 is some real dough to sink your teeth into.

Why is Fine Estate Sales and Estate Liquidation offering this $500.00 Reward – It’s simple, it’s because we don’t know who once wore them, and if we did, why, well, er…we could sell them for a lot of money, and buy a whole lot of dental floss…

Antique enameled and filigree gold false teeth, look them up: Do a Google search, or any other search that you can, I did, and I can’t find anything even remotely similar.

4 Ways To Win: $500.00 – $300.00 – $200.00 – $100.00

$500.00 Reward: Tell us who actually wore these teeth.

$300.00 – 1st Prize: Best made up story about who wore these teeth.

$200.00 – 2nd Prize: 2nd Best made up story about who wore these teeth.

$100.00 – 3rd Prize: 3rd Best made up story about who wore these teeth.

These Gold, Enameled and Pearly White Teeth

Are Rare, I have Never Seen Anything Like Them…

OK, here are the rules for these Rewards and Prizes:

  1. For the $500.00 Reward, you must furnish proof of who owned these Antique and Gold Dentures. Proof must be conclusive (photos, or some detailed historical text)
  2. This $500.00 Reward will go to the first person who provides a verifiable previous owner.
  3. It is entirely likely that these teeth may have been part of a museum collection or private collection. If you can conclusively provide this information, and even if you do not know the person to whom these Antique Gold and Enamel False Teeth belonged to, that’s OK, as long as you can establish for a fact that this museum or private collection, once owned them.
  4. To win our 1st, 2nd, or 3rd Prizes, all you have to be is funny, or enlightening. Tell us a whopper. Wow us with a fantastic made up history. Use your creativity.
  5. Contest Ends: February 26, 2011

$500.00 Reward, claim it by letting us know who once owned these False Teeth

Here is everything I know about these Antique Dentures: About a week ago I picked these antique dentures up from a client. She wanted me to sell them on her behalf, she asked me if I thought I could figure out what they were worth. I of course said, “Sure.”

I thought it would be easy. I thought “No Sweat.”

Well it isn’t going to be easy…That’s why I am offering a $500.00 reward. Did I mention that I am willing to pay the sum of $500.00 for conclusive information leading to the identity of the original wearer of these golden teeth…?

Well I am.

The present owner of these, my client, is a 90 year old woman from Australia, who once operated a pawn shop there along with her husband.

These Antique False Teeth Once Belonged to a Prince

Or so it’s said…

My client said, that the story about these antique gold and enameled teeth is that they once upon a time belonged to a prince.

But the prince of where?

A prince who ruled when?

Remember there are 4 ways to win!

  1. Correctly identify the previous owner of these gold and enameled false teeth.
  2. Make up a story about who once owned these gold and enameled false teeth.

Our Contest Judges

Reyne Haines Antiques Contributor to The Huffington Post
Will Seippel CEO of Worthpoint
Martin Willis Founder of Antique Auction Forum

Update: Contest now closed and we have 3 winners…

Our 3 Contest Winners Here


Where to Purchase Our Book "Liquidating an Estate"

Submit Theory or Comments Below

117 thoughts on “$500 Reward: Who Owned These Antique Gold False Teeth

  1. My theory is that these beauties once belonged to former Saudi Arabian King Abdul Aziz Al-Saud.

    He reigned from 1953 to approximately 1964.

    I first thought maybe they were the choppers of a prince but then it donned on me that he was probably King by the time all of his teeth fell out! I also suspect that the Royals who came after him probably began receiving better dental care…you know…with their $500,000 monthly stipends and all.

    The Saudi Royal family is well known for their opulent lifestyles. If you look closely at the published pictures of the family you will often see similar colors to that on these dentures.

    The design is also very characteristic of the Saudi’s and the Middle East in general.

    My hunch is that the boys were partying it up in a foreign hotel and he left them behind….waking up the next morning not able to remember where he had been the night before!

    The hotel maid got hold of them, and passed them down to her grandchildren…and now Martin has to find these puppies a good home.

    So there ya have it. I can not prove it…so I sure won’t win $500…but I had fun! Thank you to Martin for a little antique adventure!

  2. Good Day,

    I am contacting you in regards to the set of “Falsies” on your website, and would like to knowingly identify the owner of this remarkable set.

    Although you may not have any evidence of these teeth belonging to this person, I can tell you that you were right on target……it indeed was a Prince that owned them….Prince himself. (well, the artist formerly known as) The beautiful scribing on the gumline is obvious of Prince’s flair, as well as his trademark insignia. The story goes like this:

    Prince was in Australia for a concert some years back. As he cozied up in hotel room for a mimoso and apple / vanilla bath, there was a knock at the door.

    Who was it you ask? Dick Clark.

    Dick Clark was on vacation in Sydney and had heard the P-Man was in town. This would be the first time Dick Clark had seen the “Little Bastard” since the original airing of Prince’s network debut on American Bandstand.

    Although Dick Clark shrugged off Princes unresponsiveness in the interview, he always had a deep hatred of him and awaited for the right time to pay him back for the embarrassment.

    Prince asked whom was at the door, while peeking through the peephole. Before Prince could speak the final word in that phrase, Dick Clark kicked the door down, all the time yelling, “Open up”. Shocked by the intrusion, Prince stood speechless while Dick Clark went on a tirade Clark W. Griswold would have been proud to have expressed.

    Dick didn’t even give Prince time to respond before he punched Prince with a tremendous roundhouse. Prince’s set (Shown above) flew out of his mouth, through the open patio doors of the hotels 13th floor room, and into the street.

    For this reason, I have never told any “Chuck Norris Jokes” – I refer to these types of jokes as Dick Clark jokes, as the man kicks some ass.

    The set of teeth had circulated for years after that, moving from one area of Australia to another, getting traded for pints of Fosters.

    By the way – Prince LOVED Jellybeans. Hence the Grill.

    So, feel free to send me over the $500 – although I may lack “official documentation”, you can trust me – really. Okay – just send me $100 and well call it even.


    Jason Hilbert

  3. It is quite possible that this set of false teeth belong to Amir Timur. She wanted so far. It is known that he had a golden jaw but was lost with time. Pattern and performance in the Oriental style.

  4. Seriously, there are so many avenues… but.. they are a bit like things I have seen from the pillaging by the Nazi’s in WWII. Australia was a bit of a “safe Haven” for war criminals… Maybe that is an avenue to go down??

  5. I believe these were owned by famed entertainer Wladziu Valentino Liberace who lost them while snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef on holiday. Apparently he was searching for pearls off shore when he was approached by a curious Great White shark who mistook his sequined wetsuit for the scales of a large tuna. In Liberace’s struggle to reach the surface, he concurrently lost his precious ivories and managed to reflect the surface light off of his sequins. This not only scared off the shark but could be seen from space. I believe this is true to the amount of $100.

  6. Having been told that wishing for more wishes was against the rules, he used the third wish to wish for the ability to turn things to gold, but having read a lot of Greek mythology in his lonely childhood, decided to harness the power with specificity, in this case having everything that he *bit* transmute to gold; unfortunately, his was a Hapsburg jaw resulting in a tooth alignment that qualified under Genie Law as biting themselves when closed, the immediate result of which was a dispersing as with apple seeds of 32 golden teeth (he also suffered from scurvy), but the genie, being sympathetic (the old thing about genies being pitiless sticklers is kind of a racist stereotype) mounted them in an enamel base so that he could carry them around, but anyway this is where that Robert Burns poem comes from —

    A rule on some bullion eschewed
    Is a moral that one might construe
    As this: “Chrysopoeia:
    I don’t want to be ya.”
    And: “All that glitter’s not AU.”

    But back to “To a Louse”; if you could all turn to page 23 in the book…

  7. The great Greek seeker-of-honest-men, Diogenes had a son, oddly named “Enamel” because of the unhappy coincidence of the priest conferring the name “Emanuel” and the hospital clerk’s poor transcription skills. So burdened, Enamel felt that his father’s life was a series of disappointments because his dad had set himself the task find an “honest man”. An oxymoron, thought the young Enamel. So Enamel instead became consumed with what he imagined was a more achievable gig: to discover “Perfect Truth”, without the requirement that it come in a human form. Sadly, this turned out to be a harder gig than he imagined, and not well-paying. His health suffered, and he lost most of the natural teeth. Nonetheless, Enamel fell in with some Attican party girls (his path was not always the high road) and one of them, a complete hottie who was the Princess of Peritonia, and heiress to a massive dental-implant fortune, took a shine to the humorless (but well built) young Enamel. But Enamel was unsure what truths he could learn from the Princess that would not leave him with a painful rash, and so, to convince him of her love, she promised to give him the very object of his life-long quest as her dowery. The combination of his speech defect born of gum disease led her to believe that his quest was for “The Perfect Tooth”, and so she commissioned the finest gold dentures before or since. The rest, of course, is history. (While this account is in all respects true, I insist that you send me only the $100. )

  8. “Efcue me, buh it uhpears as ef you haf muh teef. Fank you immenfly for finding fem and taking time to wocate me. You see I loft vem aftuh a woutine twip to da dentist. He vas awfwee shady and his office feemed iwagitimate, but I had a Gwoupon I bought onwine for discount teef kweaning and needed to haf muh golden jewuhs powished and shined for muh one hundrefth burfday! If you would be fo kind as to weturn muh teef to me at your eaweist convenunce, your generwosity would not go unwewarded.

    Fir Regibald Winston von Huxwee”

  9. I may be dating myself by telling this story, but I don’t let those sorts of things bother me anymore. It always astonished me that those teeth stayed as shiny as they did. It was proof that we lived in the only climate in the world that was harsher than the inside of a human mouth. That mouth in particular should have been harsher than the rest, but each swirling arm stayed bright under the lips that were rumored to belong to the only mouth that could coax L.J.Silver into breaking a sweat. I always thought that was a shame, as L.J. had lost his leg to the Immortal Hawke. Had we combined these two halves, we could have had a man. Though I could go on about him as well, I know you’re more interested in the owner of the teeth and I will save those stories for less public ears. Some things aren’t to be shared with more people than can fit in a mirror. I worry that to reveal the owners teeth, even at this date in time, will set the country in a blaze. But I can hardly stand to see them go unclaimed.

    We were all missing teeth when I first met him. That’s the nature of the sea, and I argue that’s the way all men let their teeth fall when a woman will hardly be laying eyes across your smile. And if you do catch a woman’s gaze below your gum’s, the fear overwhelms the repulsion. However, the owner of these particular teeth was hardly afflicted by this superficial ailment. He had attended Eton college, though none of us ever learned what he had studied. The academic types weren’t likely to make good deck hands, but our Captain had taken a liking to this character. Queen Anne received a new boatswain.

    The loss of his hand became that of legend. The iron hook stood as the ever-present symbol of the cadaverous personality that wielded it, one that his beloved Wendy was never able to overlook. But what the history books fail to mention is what this man managed to take from himself. After the ‘incident,’ we would often catch the Captain (Yes, we had jumped ship by then and had already struck out on our own) examining his still-natural teeth in the reflection of an old plate, or a puddle of water as it fills with moonlight. His iron hook would scratch and prod as if he was checking to see if they really belong in his own mouth. He was unsettled by the sight of these teeth. They may have reminded him of the last sight his fingers would have seen, had they been equipped with eyes. I can’t pinpoint when curiosity turned into hate. But it was around the same time he became obsessed with the girl.

    And so this is where the history begins. He would sit starboard and pull. He would pull and pull and pull. And slowly the teeth made their way out of his mouth. Every single one of them tossed overboard. At first we didn’t have to see the pain in his face; we only had to listen to the screams. They became quieter with each pull, and by the end it looked as if he was casually completing a chore as he twisted those misshapen wisdom teeth out of the back of his now bloodied mouth. The color that poured from his mouth managed to be the only shade I have ever seen that was darker than those black curls that fell from beneath his captains hat.

    And by morning, those golden swirls stood as a continued testament to just how dark his black candles were. To this day I cannot even venture a guess as to where he acquired those teeth, though I’m certain it was not in the same place you did. And nobody on the ship ever questioned him. You simply do not ask those kinds of questions to the man who was rumored to have killed the Quartermaster of the Sea Witch. This rumor is coincidentally where he got his name from. It was purely a coincidence that later in his life he would receive a hook on his hand as the result of some sort of karmic intervention. Could you have guessed that the quartermaster would return as an alligator?

    Captain Hooks last words were “Floreat Etona,” the motto of Hooks beloved Eton college. I won’t argue that I actually heard the man say this, as I had lost most of my hearing at this point. Did you know that once you stop aging, you can still lose your hearing? Regardless, I didn’t need to hear him say it. I saw the words leaking out between the golden swirls of those awful, beautiful teeth. Each sound wave punctuated by the tick… tock… tick… tock… of a soul redeemed.

  10. Martin: To answer the question of who wore these false teeth, look no further! Answer, Prince the pop star (aka) Nelson Rogers. I know this to be fact as I was on tour with Prince in 1986 when his Album “Parade” hit the charts. The number one hit song off the album was the billboard number 3 hit song called “KISS”. The false teeth were to be worn by Prince for photos for the cover art on the album. I was in charge of the photo shoot where Prince was to wear the false teeth. The day of the shoot the teeth went missing, Prince was so pissed off that he named his next album “Revolution”. He really wanted everybody to know just how upset he was about those teeth. Also he wrote a song about it called “Kiss My Gold That You Stole”. After a while he got over it. I still get e-mails from him, mostly talking about his latest tour and begging me to come back and as always at the end of his e-mails he mentions the teeth. Good news, I have called Prince and told him that the teeth have been located, he was so excited that after all these years of wondering, and they land up at an estate sale? I told him not just any estate sale but a FINE ESTATE SALE, he said that figures. Prince also said to me, if you don’t mind Martin he’d like for me to get them for his next CD cover called “I Got My Gold Back Jack” of course Martin you will get a credit on the CD for the teeth. Prince also would like to set up a meeting with you Martin, just give me a call so I can make the arrangements. Thanks Mark

  11. Many believe that the phenomenon of “grillz” is a new fad started by hip-hop artists in order to show off their new-found wealth. Although a tempting explenation, it is false. Elaborate dentures have been worn for centuries by poets in order to demonstrate that they were able to sustain themselves financially with their writings, and not in need of a patron. These particular dentures belonged to William Shakespeare who at the time wrote using the alias Lil’ Bill. One of his most popular sonnets of the time have sadly been lost, it was called “I can be your Romeo”, and was performed in front of a crowded Globe wearing these exact dentures.

  12. In the 1800’s a masterful pirate named Claudius Ash was once a goldsmith by trade and had indeed created these fine dentures of gold; driven by his vain sense and bad teeth. His smile was widely known to cause boundaries to melt, hearts to warm up. His men would frequently call him “Fancy Dan” due to the brilliancy of his smile that would glitter at dawn. His ghost can be found on the wharfs in London singing a merry tune “Oh to be a pirate and hold a head of gold.”

  13. I am a UCSF dental student. I would like to take a look at these dentures.

    What I can tell you from here, is that they appear to be made of porcelain (and can be dated after ~1770 when porcelain first started to be used). They look like porcelain because of all the chipping that has occurred. This is especially evident at the margin where the tooth meets the base (on the central incisor. Teeth don’t really crack that way too often).

    The other thing I can tell you is that the patient who got these hadn’t been wearing dentures too long. As people age (especially if they have been wearing dentures for a long time) their roof of their mouth drops and the ridges resorb. Everything really flattens out. It makes it harder for people to wear dentures (they don’t have anything to hold on to). These set of dentures appear to have a fairly prominent arch for the roof of the mouth. So, probably one of the first set of dentures they had.

    Please email me. I would like to set up a time to look at these closer in person.

  14. The Story of the Golden False Teeth
    Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far, away there lived an old spinster who wanted to get married someday. At that very moment a prince who lived in a nearby castle was looking for the right woman to web. So the king organized a ball, invited all the fairm maidens in town to attend it. Their entry ticket was to have sparkling white teeth.
    The old spinster heard about it, and tried to prepare for the party. Unfortunately, the invitation showed “Attendees must have sparkling white teeth!” which made her loose her chance.
    That night her fairy god mother showed up and waved her wand to give her a make-over. She got the young looks, the beautiful dress and glass slippers and Golden False Teeth that you see in this site. The fairy god mother told her that she only has up to midnight and all the magic will disappear after the clock strikes twelve.
    At the party, she was a standout. People were so amazed to see a wonderful woman with sparkling white teeth ans some gold on it. This caught the attention of the prince. They danced, and danced all night and just before their first kiss, the clock struck twelve. The spinster rushed out and fell on the ground face first and dropped her false teeth.
    The prince upon seeing it, tried searching for the girl who wore it, but won’t admit. Finally, he gave up and sold it to someone who needed it most. And everyone in the story, except for the spinster, lived happily ever after. That’s the story of the Golden False Teeth’s beginnings.

  15. Prince Nayyid was a very unfortunate young man. Though he was a prince he was the youngest and therefore considered somewhat expendable. He also had the misfortune of being a very gangly and unattractive youth. His worst feature was undoubtedly his teeth, especially the upper teeth, which were extremly jagged and were quite prominent.

    His life was one of misery. Teased mercilessly by his older siblings, he had no friends. He tried not to let this make him bitter, but in this he was not completely successful. He did have a good heart, though, and showed what kindnesses he could. He hid his loneliness as best he could, and never complained.

    Nayyid threw himself into his studies. He became quite learned, and grew to be strong and tall. His martial training helped to exorcise some of his personal demons, and he became quite fierce in battle. Many grew to fear his gruesome smile. In his heart though, Nayyid yearned only for peace, and to be loved. His fierceness came from his hatred of self, from his belief that he was too deeply flawed to ever find that which he yearned for most.

    Marriage was very important to Nayyid’s father, the Satrap. Great thought went into selecting potential matches for the royal children. Though the royal line was secure, the lesser children were quite valuable in securing lands and assets for the Satrap and his people. And now it was time for one of Nayyid’s older brothers to marry.

    His brother’s bride-to-be was exquisite. Nayyid actually hid from her, knowing that people would inevitably compare them. Great beauty so close to such ugliness begs such attention. What he didn’t know was that the visiting princess actually thought Nayyid to be rather good-looking, though he was far too serious and never seemed to smile.

    The night that the princess arrived was a wonderful event, and Nayyid hated it. He hung back as best he could, skulking in the shadows. It was thus that he found the first assassin, sent to kill the princess and end the Satrap’s plans for stability in the area. It would be more accurate to say that Nayyid blundered into the assassin, and the knife kissed his neck softly before Nayyid knew exactly what was going on.

    Having exposed himself early the assassin tried to kill Nayyid as quietly and efficiently as possible. He drove the hilt of his knife into Nayyid’s face repeatedly, smashing his teeth and splitting his lip. Nayyid fell, but kept his wits about him and rolled away. His wordless cry alerted everyone to the presence of danger as he charged toward the assassin.

    Instead of trying to escape, the assassin ran straight toward the princess. Nayyid was faster though, and dragged the assassin down. The Satrap’s guards quickly marched the would-be assassin to a holding cell, and Nayyid was taken to the healer.

    The healer shook his head when he saw Nayyid’s face. As he removed what remained of his patient’s ruined dentition, the healer thought that it might actually be an improvement. He took a mould of Nayyid’s upper palate, to try and form a set of false teeth from. The healer had little skill in this, but at least Nayyid might eventually be able to eat something other than mush.

    Nayyid kept to himself for many a month while he healed.

    Finally the wedding day came, and there was great ceremony. The princess saw Nayyid, who was trying to remain unseen, and mentioned him to her father as the man who had saved her life.

    Nayyid was brought before the princess and her father, and he was thanked profusely. He then retreated quietly into the shadows, more convinced than ever before that he was too hideous for polite company.

    Many months later the father of the princess returned. Nayyid was summoned to the court, and was presented with a gift.

    “Please take this gift,” said the grateful father. “It is a small thing, to replace what you have lost.”

    And Nayyid was given a strange and wonderful set of new teeth, made from the crude mould that his healer had taken so long ago. The craftsmanship was impressive, and they fit wonderfully. The prince noticed that he no longer felt as much pain in his jaw, and his near-constant headaches had vanished.

    Another strange thing happened; Nayyid attracted the notice of many young ladies. Or perhaps not so strange. He was strong, kind, and brave. He showed a quiet confidence in all matters, excepting his personal appearance. And with his new teeth and a scar on his lip, he was considered to be extremely handsome and more than a little dangerous.

    Not knowing how to handle this new situation, Nayyid decided to leave his home country and travel widely. In his travels he knew great success and terrible tragedy. He did foolish things and grew wise. He drank some very good wine.

    And he fell madly in love….

  16. These are of course the long lost dentures which were custom made for one of the greatest military commanders, Napoleon Bonaparte by goldsmith Peze’ Pilleau. In 1810 the Archduchess of Austria Marie Louise presented them as a token of her affection upon their pending nuptials, the top upper impressed with a lovers heart.

    Many historians to this day feel it was simply Napoleon’s diminutive size that caused him his famous fiery complex, however it was actually his very poor dental hygiene. A less then proper dental appreciation which had all but left him just the lower front row of his own teeth.

    Napoleon treasured this grand gifted presentation of teeth to such a degree that when not wearing them proudly at special occasions, he would clutch them tightly & keep them near his breast.

    In 1812 Jacques-Louis David captured this famous pose in his portrait of Napoleon titled “The Emperor Napoleon in His Study at the Tulleries”

    Unfortunately, in 1821 Napoleon died while being held in confinement by the British on the island of Saint Helena.

    It was later discovered that his much beloved false teeth had been taken by an envious soldier presumed to have been one Elmer “Poopsie” Carmichael, later in 1827 Carmaichael was sent to Australia as part of a small party of soldiers and convicts to help establish a British presence in the region amidst fears of French occupation, that certainly would explain the Australian background. The wonderful provenance sadly long lost to time and history…till now. 😉


  17. I can’t tell the material between the teeth. But a jeweler may be the maker. One possibility is Peze Pilleau Junior as the maker. Late 1700’s. Regards, Kirk Williams

  18. These teeth are a set from the Archbishop of Narbonne, Arthur Richard Dillon, whose death was in 1806. The teeth were discovered in their original condition (see the link below) during construction of the Chunnel’s new Rail Terminus. The teeth were set to go on display at the British Museum, but curators decided that they were far too disgusting, and were terribly worried that displaying them as-is would sicken museum patrons and visitors. After many unproductive meetings, British Museum officials and board members decided they would coat the disgusting teeth in gold filigree and hire a local artist to create an ornate design. A proclamation was sent out among the British Isles to find the best artist for the job. Finally, Mr. Edward M. Winkleberger was chosen. After many evenings of hard work, Mr. Winkleberger created the masterpiece that we see today.


  19. Claudius Ash – Claudius Ash followed his father into the profession of silversmithing and goldsmithing in the firm of Ash & Sons, 64 St James’s Street, Westminster. In about 1820 he was asked to apply his craftsmanship to making a set of dentures. Up to this time, most false teeth were made from hippopotamus or walrus ivory that was prone to discolouring, or from human teeth extracted from dead bodies, including battlefield casualties (thus known as ‘Waterloo teeth’). Ash’s teeth, made of porcelain mounted on gold plates, with gold springs and swivels, were considered superior both aesthetically and functionally and laid the foundation of his new enterprise as Britain’s foremost manufacturer of dentures and dental appliances.

    In London in 1820, Claudius Ash, a goldsmith by trade, began manufacturing high-quality porcelain dentures mounted on 18-carat gold plates.

  20. I believe these were the teeth of the Astronomer Tycho Brahe. As the story goes: On December 29th, 1566, whilst studying at the University of Rostock in Germany, Tycho became engaged in a fist fight with a fellow Dutch nobleman. Who won the fight is not clear – but what is certain is that Tycho, as a result, lost the bridge of his nose. Silver, copper, and gold noses were fashioned for him to replace this missing bridge. This is the popular legend and, while incomplete, is true. Not only did Tycho lose his nose, but he also had several teeth knocked out of his mouth. His prototypes of teeth replacements were each, accordingly, matched to the nose pieces. However, the copper was much to his distaste. While he also wore silver false teeth, he prominently wore his gold set to match the gold nose, which guests and the public commonly know him as wearing (as he would wear the gold to functions and events).

    When Tycho Brahe died, his close companion and fellow astronomer Johannes Kepler was with him. Often it is understood that Brahe’s last words were “Ne videar frustra vixit!” (roughly translated, “Let me not have lived in vain”!). This Kepler would relate as a commemoration of Tycho’s work (which he seldom shared with Kepler). However, Tycho’s complete last words are commonly lost in the pages of history.

    When Tycho died he said:

    “Homunculus meo do auri naso
    Alces meo aurum do dentium
    To do Kepler stellarum
    Ne videar frustra vixit!”

    (“To my little man I give my gold nose;
    To my moose I give my gold teeth;
    To Kepler I give the stars;
    Do not I seem to have lived in vain!”)

  21. These teeth belonged to Toothless Joe, world famous gelatin architect and burlesque performer, circa 1926.

    Upon his death (by a late circumcision gone wrong, as his wife was Jewish), wife “Lipless Rita” commented: “That old coot never gave me a damn thing, so I stoled his gold teeth and pawned them.” She then later used the money to found the “American Vaudeville Center for Reconstructive Surgery,” helping not only herself, but hundreds of ailing pinheads, siamese twins, and politicians.

    Lipless Rita passed in 1976 at age 93. Her last words were not heard because her daughter was choking her to death. The end.

    Sad story, but hopefully worth your time and money. I got bills to pay. 🙂

  22. Wow. I haven’t seen those for years. They belonged to an old family friend, Diego Roth Diego III. You wouldn’t know him. He never met with acclaim. He was simply a man of rich taste and poor hygiene.

  23. I firmly believe these were created by the great Claudias Ash. Here is a link to an article regarding his master craftsmanship and his specific craftsmanship regarding filigree (also quoted below link). http://www.bdta.org.uk/index.php?mact=News,cntnt01,detail,0&cntnt01articleid=14&cntnt01returnid=62 QUOTE: “Claudius Ash, the founder of the business, was by trade a jeweller and he excelled in a speciality known as filigree work. It consisted of beautiful artistic designs all wrought out in small gold wire and when executed by him had a very charming effect and in those days it was very fashionable. Well in George Street, Hanover Square there lived a dentist named Thompson and he gave Claudius Ash an order for a suite of this beautiful Jewellery which when finished he delivered it himself and I need hardly say it gave great satisfaction. On that occasion Mr. Thompson had in his hand a set of teeth on 18 (N.B. probably carat) gold plates gold springs and swivels which he was going to put into the mouth of a patient but holding it out he said ” Mr Ash, do you think you could do that kind of work?” Mr. Ash looked at it and said yes he thought he could, so Mr. Thompson sent models and the necessary instructions for Mr. Ash to make a set of teeth and the order was executed in such a superior manner that Mr. Thompson was pleased to show it to other dentists and they asked Mr. Ash to do their Mechanical work and thus a very good business was created by working for the profession.”

  24. To understand the origins of the gold false teeth, we have to start in 1920s New York. It was during Prohibition, and the underground booze trade was booming. A young go-getter, simply called Tony the Pony, had big plans to cash in on the ban on alcohol. He had devised, in his bathtub (and to the chagrin of his increasingly un-cleansed wife), a new type of whiskey that was complex in flavor but dirt cheap to produce. He planned to undercut everyone else’s prices in order to gain a foothold in the business. Naturally, mob bosses caught wind of his little scheme, and were not particularly pleased.

    One night, in November of 1923, several mob members broke into Tony the Pony’s home and…shot his bathtub. Already in debt, Tony had no way to buy another bathtub, and his wife, desperate for a good soak, ran off with a local deliveryman (who had both a bathtub AND a shower). With debtors clamoring at his door, and no way to make booze, Tony the Pony fled with a friend (who had similar money issues after a failed attempt at a business that sold booties for Parakeets). His friend, Tossleworth, had been a contractor when he was a teenager, and had heard gossip of a thriving construction business in Morocco.

    The two of them went to Tangiers to set up shop. They secured several loans and started a construction firm in the heart of the city. They quickly found out, however, that construction was a competitive field, and they had trouble finding customers and employees. Tony the Pony turned to the local organized crime outfit, and refitted his construction firm to act as a front for criminal activity. With a little help from his less-than-moral financiers, Tony was able to make his whiskey and sell it off for tidy profits.

    Tossleworth, meanwhile, had grown increasingly jealous at the special treatment Tony received from the mobsters. Having a very limited skill set, he was quickly pushed aside, and was often beaten or worse – taunted. A sensitive and insecure man, Tossleworth had always been particular about his height. Standing just over 5 feet, his position mutated from co-founder of a business to unofficial mascot and mob clown.

    In the summer of 1925, Tossleworth heard about a visit to Tangiers by the Prince of Morocco. Despite having very few practical skills, he could still be crafty when he needed to be. He quickly devised a plan to lure the Prince into the construction firm, and expose the criminal underground that lay just beneath its surface. He would be lauded as a hero, and Tony the Pony could go suck it.

    Two days prior to the Prince’s visit, Tossleworth sauntered up to the palace and asked to speak with an advisor. It took some verbal maneuvering on his part, but he was eventually granted one (albeit for only 1 minutes and 37 seconds). Tossleworth hurriedly revealed that he had uncovered one of the bases of the biggest mob group in Tangiers, and that the Prince needed to do something about it. The advisor scoffed and shooed him out, but nevertheless did mention it in brief to the Prince while cutting his toe nails in the afternoon.

    The Prince of Morocco would have normally scoffed at this mention as well. What could he do about the mob? They were ingrained in the city. Besides, it wasn’t his problem. However, he had of late been fascinated by the impressive films emerging from Europe and the United States. Bored with his royal life, he cooked up ideas of adventures and escapades, of playing the hero to the damsel. He made up his mind. He would sneak out into the streets and take a look at this construction firm himself. Then he could uncover this underground base of mobsters and be lauded as a hero! The Prince had clearly seen one too many movies.

    That evening, the Prince feigned exhaustion and retired to his chambers. He then put on civilian clothes and ventured into the streets of Tangiers. He knocked on the door of the construction firm, and Tossleworth answered. Unaware of who he was talking to, and grumpy from his earlier exchange with the advisor, he didn’t take kindly to the overly-proper manner in which this man talked. He nodded to a chair for the Prince to sit in, and sulked into the back room. He told Tony the Pony that there was “a jerkoff that wanted to ‘partake in the organized criminal outfit you gentlemen have here'” and that maybe he should teach him a lesson. Tony was game. Having grown up in the Bronx among gang members, he was always hankering for a fight.

    Tony waltzed out into the front room, looked the Prince up and down, and smirked. The Prince stood up gingerly and extended a hand. Tony didn’t take it. Instead, he offered a left hook. The Prince, stunned by the sudden punch, stood there wide-eyed. And then he got the right hook. Tony the Pony leapt on the Prince, and with a neigh of triumph, started to pummel him. Tossleworth stood by with a smile, imagining that he was the one beating down Tony the Pony. And he would have stood until the Prince had been pummeled to death, however he caught a glimpse of the royal pendent that hung around the Prince’s neck, and stopped Tony. The Prince, bloodied up and half conscious, took this opportunity to slip out the door.

    Tony brushed Tossleworth aside, and picked up the teeth that had fallen out of the Prince’s mouth. A “trophy”, he called it, and put them in his pocket. The next day, he had the teeth coated in resin and turned into a set of false teeth. He only had a few of the Prince’s teeth, though, and had several more teeth made to complete the set. Tony the Pony then had the molars dipped in gold, as a reminder to himself to always “stay gold.”

    He didn’t stay gold for long. Two days later, the Prince, incensed that he was treated so harshly, ordered the construction firm to be burnt down in the middle of the night. Fortunately for the Prince, and unfortunately for the mobsters, they had had a party at the business and many of them had fallen asleep after a night of heavy drinking. Tony the Pony, who drank little that night, managed to escape the building, but numerous mobsters, including Tossleworth, died in the fire. Stupidly, Tony had kept all of his money in cash in the building. None of it remained. All he had on him was the set of false teeth, his clothes, and a peppermint. He pawned off his false teeth and ate the peppermint, but spent the money on booze and lived the rest of his life in abject poverty (and with terrible breath).

    The teeth, meanwhile, traded hands between disinterested parties, collecting dust in numerous pawn and curio shops until eventually returning to America, where the tale of its origin has been lost.

  25. These teeth belonged to this guy.


    He worked at a Bronx Zoo concession stand selling churros. One day while eating one of his finely baked churros, he was scratched through the bars by a hippo. He got hippo scratch fever. He won a large cash settlement from the Bronx Zoo because of this to pay his bills. From that point on, he bore a striking resemblance to the hippopotamus. He continued working at the churro concession stand and continued eating churros.

    As you may know, churros have a lot of sugar. Due to this, many of his teeth fell out. This led to him needing extensive dental work, which you have found. He’s been looking for them for a few years now, so that picture is pretty much what he looks like. Because of this, many people dismiss him as crazy. Please give him back his teeth…

  26. These teeth belong to none other than King Louis the XIV of France. My explanation for this theory. The teeth exhibit a design in keeping with rococo and late baroque motifs of the time. In a time when most were peasants, to use precious ivory in their construction was most fitting of a king of france, as well as plenty and plenty of gold, especially for one as self absorbed as Louis XIV. He likened himself the Sun King (like apollo), and was obsessed about gold. He even had a sitting area in his palace in which he would sit in a golden throne at a certain time of day, and get completely bathed by the sun from a succession of mirrors surrounding the inner courtyard. All these mirrors were directed to the the center of the courtyard, where he would sit, basking in his sunny golden glory. The exuberant use of gold for these teeth, and the fact that they were constructed with such over the top filigree would point to a person obsessed about a delusion of godhood, and would need to have them made to preserve his vanity of self…(due to the prevalaent lack of dentistry at this part in human history, most people had blackened or no teeth at all… there was no tooth brush, and the idea of dentil hygiene was not yet invented). Notice, also, a heart at the center of the pallet, most likely a message to aphrodite…

  27. These teeth belong to none other than King Louis the XIV of France. My explanation for this theory. The teeth exhibit a design in keeping with rococo and late baroque motifs of the time. In a time when most were peasants, to use precious ivory in their construction was most fitting of a king of france, as well as plenty and plenty of gold, especially for one as self absorbed as Louis XIV. He likened himself the Sun King (like apollo), and was obsessed about gold. He even had a sitting area in his palace in which he would sit in a golden throne at a certain time of day, and get completely bathed by the sun from a succession of mirrors surrounding the inner courtyard. All these mirrors were directed to the the center of the courtyard, where he would sit, basking in his sunny golden glory. The exuberant use of gold for these teeth, and the fact that they were constructed with such over the top filigree would point to a person obsessed about a delusion of godhood, and would need to have them made to preserve his vanity of self…(due to the prevalaent lack of dentistry at this part in human history, most people had blackened or no teeth at all… there was no tooth brush, and the idea of dentil hygiene was not yet invented). Notice, also, a heart at the center of the pallet, most likely a message to aphrodite…..

  28. Its quite obvious that these teeth were part of the loot from a series of graves robbed in early 1949 in Germany. During this series of thefts the dentures of Kaiser William I (1864) and Frederick William III (1840) were stolen.

    These were obviously then brought to Australia by nefarious teeth dealers who thought they could claim they were from rich gold miners and thereby cover their tracks. Unfortunately for them their cohorts in Germany were arrested and they had to sell the goods quick and sold them to your client.

    My proof is the articles in the Australian press about the thefts. Why would the Australian public care except that it was a secret message from the mastermind in Germany to get rid of the evidence!

    To see my proof go to the Australian Newspaper Archive and search for “Ghouls steal gold teeth”.



  29. As someone jokingly mentioned, looking into Claudius Ash might yield some clues.

    He was a metalworker turned premier denturist of the 19th century. They look porcelain which Ash preferred over real teeth ( “Waterloo” or Napoleonic battlefield teeth were popular in the 19th century). Fits the same timeline as the introduction of Goodyear’s Vulcanized Dentures (the red rubber possibly used over the gold palette, that the inlay is laid into).

    Here is a memoir of Ash’s dental arts.This book mentions, with drawings, high palette gold molding techniques :

    Here is a catalogue of the materials the ash company sold:

  30. The ‘prince’ who owned these golden teeth did not achieve his title through divine right or noble blood, but through conquest. More accurately called a Robber Baron, Drufus Ponsol had accumulated a territory slightly smaller than Connecticut in the wilds of the Australian roadways in the later half of the 19th century. Drufus and his band of highwaymen were notorious for attacking merchant caravans, and stealing a single tooth from each of his victims as a crude signature. As his pile of stolen teeth accumulated, Drufus had the fortune of ambushing a Greek Goldsmith simply named Gomphosis. Drufus realized the ability of his newest hostage, and ordered Gomphosis to select the best teeth from the pile, and to use them to fashion a set of golden dentures. Only the finest set of false teeth would befit the Robber Baron Drufus Ponsol.
    However, after completion, Gomphosis attempted to escape the clutches of his captor. Mortally wounded by the blast from a blunderbuss, Gomphosis was able to stagger to Perth, and exchange his latest masterpiece for medical attention. Gomphosis succumbed to his wounds however, and the teeth were lost in time.

  31. Clearly, those teeth once belonged to the legendary Mother Teresa.

    She obtained them at an early age when she was running with her gang, the Calcutta Martyrs. They had a back alley brawl with the Ganesha Gang in which she promptly gave her adversary a one-two punch followed by a staggering upper cut, knocking Gandhi of his feet. Gandhi laid in with a swift roundhouse to the teeth. M-Teresa won the fight but at the expense of her pearly whites.

    Luckily, those rumors of her millions stashed in the mattress of her private jet are true…she commissioned Louis Comfort Tiffany to design the clandestine set of grills recently unearthed. She kept it a secret to her grave….

    So there you have it.

  32. After the debut episode of Flavor of Love, these teeth were all the rage among the Mayan people, many were thrown away after the start of the second season.

  33. I believe this particular set of dentures was constructed by Claudius Ash of Claudius Ash & Sons Ltd. somewhere in the time period of 1839/1844 – 1924. The reason I believe it was somewhere within this time period is that vulcanite, which is what it appears the porcelain teeth are set into, wasn’t invented until 1839 by Charles Goodyear. Even then it wasn’t patented until 1844. I also believe it couldn’t have been any later than 1924, as this is when Claudius Ash & Sons Ltd. merged with de Trey & Company to form the Amalgamated Dental Company which I believe would have caused more ornate styles to fall out, in favor of practicality. Also, it is highly unlikely it was constructed any later than somewhere in the 1930’s, because that’s when vulcanite was replaced by present day acrylic resin. As to who the teeth belonged to, however, is anyone’s guess. I am unable to find any writings of the owner of a set of dentures like these, but I hypothesize that it belonged to someone of upper-class society as a status symbol, possibly in England, Russia, or Germany.

  34. nathan, above, beat me to it…. information on claudius ash suggested A Catalogue of Artificial Teeth and Dental Materials Manufactured and Sold by Claudius Ash & Sons, 7, 8, & 9, Broad Street, Golden Square, London, (1865, Landkirchen: Pelican Publishing, 2000 (facsimile) ) as further reading. perhaps they are listed?

  35. These wonderful postdiluvian dentures have all the historical markings that allow us to date them to a period of over 3500 years ago. The provenance found within the object itself is really quite astounding. What may appear to the untrained eye to be majolica ornamentation, is something much more. In fact these are known to be Phyllo-glyphics, aptly named after its creator who subsisted for forty years on a phyllo-like diet, of bread from the sky, commonly known as Manna. These royal teeth belonged to a man with a conflictive upbringing. He was Prince to the Pharaoh and therefore was able to sport a golden grill, that would blind any slave at the pyramid worksite. But he was also a Hebrew commoner, and what appears to be mere oxidation on the gold surface, was caused when a large quantity of quail was consumed rapidly, in an under cooked fashion. This also caused a nasty case of halitosis.The enamel has kept well because both the lack of sugar in the diet, and the regular mastication of herbs, which was a common practice of that time period. These are one of the most beautiful sets of dentures known to exist, and were created by, well, indentured servants. Since they were creating this spectacular set of bicuspids and incisors, they wanted to name the back teeth after their future wise and proud owner. They asked him for his name, but his mouth was full of gauze and foam for the fitting. All the servants could here him say was Molars . . . Molars . . . while in reality he was really saying Moses . . . Moses . . .

  36. I’m not really supposed to talk about this but your reward is more than their hush money. The teeth belong to one of the master race. They are human….. sort of….. but carry a mutant gene that allows them to extrude precious substances from their bodies. This ability enables them to become infinitely rich and therefore immensely powerful. I’m not supposed to give names, but any historical figure who rose to greatness out of nowhere is a likely candidate. It is known to run in families…. many ruling families carry the gene.
    Unfortunately for them, people nowadays are less likely to believe that their rulers are gods, so being known as an infinite source of money leads to kidnap, blackmail and death. The master race has been forced to go underground. However, they still need to identify each other, and the best way to do this is with teeth. Teeth are very visible, but also very easy to hide. It has long been acceptable to have metal teeth…. to someone with no knowledge of the master race they would appear to simply have very shiny fillings. Of course, the problem with teeth is that they vanish with age. False teeth must be worn in order for an individual to continue signalling their status to others of their kind. Elaborate patterns and unnecessary extravagance have always been the calling card of the wealthy and powerful. I can therefore extrapolate that these teeth belonged to one of the elite of the master race – someone who grew old and powerful and rich beyond belief and who was determined to show it no matter what. I can’t give you names, it’s not worth the retribution, but I’m sure you can make an educated guess.

    Of course, there is a chance that they belonged to a spy or an impostor, but I’m not supposed to talk about that either……

  37. These magnificent dentures actually belonged to none other than Nikola Tesla himself, and were in fact created by him as well! While the gold inlay along the gum line may appear to be purely decorative, it actually serves a much more functional, and possibly lethal purpose. Shortly after moving to Colorado Springs, Colorado, Tesla was conducting experiments concerning the ionosphere and atmospheric electricity. He was convinced there was limitless energy readily available in the ionosphere, he just wasn’t certain as to how this power could be harnessed. One day after coming back from a lengthy visit with his orthodontist, Tesla decided to conduct some experiments dealing with his wireless energy transmission tower, but he noticed something odd while doing so. When he powered up the tower he noticed an invigorating tingling sensation happening within his mouth and propagating through his head! Due to his immense creative genius, he almost instantly realized that the precious metals in his new set of dentures were acting as conductors and picking up the wireless energy. He immediately set to work crafting himself a new set of dentures with a much more elaborate and efficient inlay to act as the conductor. Rumor has it that this invention of his was actually his so called “death ray”, and would allow the user to emit high-powered particle streams from their mouth due to electrostatic repulsion! While nobody actually saw this device in action, Tesla made remarkable claims of its success and tried to interest the U.S. and Europe in it claiming it would “put an end to all war.” Thankfully, or perhaps regrettably, no countries had any interest in the super-weapon and it was left to fade into the obscurity of history. Until now that is.

  38. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Today is a joyous occasion for every son and daughter of Great Britain. Your client was quite right that these iridescent ivory incisors were worn by no less than a man who would later be crowned king of Britannia. After more than two centuries, the golden dentures of King George III can finally be returned to their rightful place among the crown jewels of England! For those of you not already familiar with the tale of these magnificent metal masticators, allow me to enlighten you.

    As a young man his royal highness maintained a peculiarly close rapport with his mother, Augusta of Saxe-Gotha. Famously, he would not make any important proclamation or decision of state without her explicit consent, and presence at the event itself. So close were the two of them than as the venerable lady entered into her senior years the king was known to aid her in the most basic of daily tasks, claiming that no servant would ever know his mother’s needs as well as her own son.

    As a woman of great dignity, Augusta would never acquiesce to the use of dentures. She viewed them as a sign of her lost youth, and an admission of frailty. This led to the rather odd arrangement of her son, the monarch of Great Britain, sitting with her at every meal and chewing every mouthful of food before feeding it to his dear mother. The strain of chewing both for himself and for his infirm mother, coupled with his legendary love of salt water taffy, left the king’s teeth in ruins. Being of a somewhat more humble nature than his mother, George III assented to the creation of a diligently detailed dental device. There is still some debate among royal historians as to whether he did this for his own sake, or to continue chewing his mother’s food.

    It should come as no great surprise that these glorious gilded gums have re-surfaced in Australia. As I am sure you are aware, King George III was the British monarch at the time of the founding of the first penal colonies of Oceania. By this point, the king was the proud possessor of a plethora of pearly prostheses and had long since abandoned the original pair. As fortune would have it, Bennelong the envoy sent by the aboriginal peoples of Australia suffered from a distressing dental decay similar to the one which had robbed the king of his own cherished choppers. His own mother having busted her bicuspids with an addiction to the sweet sap of the Gum Tree, Bennelong performed the same ruminatory replacement as the king had for his own mother. After hearing, through an interpreter naturally, how his fellow tribesmen mocked Bennelong for his devotion to his mother and to the sad state of his teeth the king was touched. In a rare moment of inter-cultural sympathy, the monarch of the British Empire imparted his own original set of dentures upon Bennelong to replace his missing molars cavity corroded canines. Eternally grateful, Bennelong returned home to Australia where the new teeth brought him fame and respect, and he wore them until the day he died.

  39. King George VI of Britain, before he became king. Its what gave him his stutter. Had a new set made, got some speech therapy, and made a good speech…

  40. Well your client is partially correct, they did once belong to not a prince, but THE Prince. His natural teeth were knocked out one evening during a particularly stirring rendition of “When Doves Cry”, a night in which he was so emotionally moved by his own words he fainted and knocked out the majority of his natural dentition. As for the gilding, Prince requested the dentist to artistically pay homage to the various prototype symbols he pondered before he settled on the iconic symbol we all know and love today.

    You’re welcome.

  41. They belonged to Dracula’s illegitimate son Rhine. When Rhine was fourteen, he ran away from home because he was fed up with arguing with his father about his future (Dracula wanted him to join the Transylvanian Army, but he wanted to travel the world and become a trader to the Orient). Rhine traveled around Europe for the next five years, murdering people on the road at night and relieving them of their blood and anything else of value. He collected quite a sum of money, and this allowed him to finance a trip to southern China where he hoped to buy silks and spices and trade them back home.

    While in China, he fell in love with a merchant’s daughter and asked her to marry him. Although she loved him, she refused, because her father had already picked out a man to whom she was engaged. Rhine convinced her to run away with him on his ship and come back to Transylvania, but before they’d gotten very far from her homeland, she was overcome with guilt and threw herself off the side of the ship. Rhine was devastated. He left the ship to his second in command and went ashore in Arabia, not caring if he ever saw home or the money he’d hoped to make in trading.

    He wandered the desert, living off of wayward travelers and burying himself in the sand during the day. While he slept his sleep of vampiric undeath beneath the desert stars, he began to have dreams where a woman in white called to him. He thought that perhaps this was his lost love, come in dreams to be with him again. But as he had successive dreams, he began to see that this woman was not her, but someone else. She was Egyptian, and she shone with the light of the moon. He got the sense that she was directing his steps, and he followed her indications across the desert to a temple half-buried in sand. There he hid from the morning light, and the woman woke him from his deathless dreams. She revealed herself as the goddess Isis, and told him that she had been waiting for him for many years, because she was his mother. He was upset by this and told her that he didn’t believe her.

    She grew incensed by his refusal to accept her as his mother and in anger she tore out his teeth, rendering him no longer a vampire. She was so angry that she tore out more than just the fangs he used to kill his prey, but before she had removed all of them, she came to her senses, seeing how badly her son was bleeding. Filled with remorse, she transported him back to Transylvania, where he awoke in his old bed, stitches on his gums and blood on his pillow. His father was surprised to see him, and upon questioning he reluctantly affirmed that Isis was Rhine’s mother, though he refused to give any other details. Rhine had the ornate teeth commissioned to replace his lost ones, but he didn’t have fangs made into them. He lived the rest of his life as a human, taking a post in the Transylvanian Army and traveling the world with an elite group of vampire spies, of which he was the director. He died of tuberculosis at the age of 67 while on a mission to Australia.

  42. From “Doc Holliday: The Life and Legend”: “Doc Holliday and Seegar swept the prises at the state fair for best set of teeth in gold, best set of teeth in vulcanised rubber, and best display of artificial teeth and dental ware.”(footnote 48)
    Book quote found on Google books, at: http://books.google.com/books?id=1jiDpMOmzP4C&pg=PA50&lpg=PA50&dq=Doc+Holliday+dentures&source=bl&ots=wx5ib0cgj5&sig=4czSaw-UTiD7glNVYdyumyYufFM&hl=en&ei=JxtgTY2WLIytgQfY-MS4Ag&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CCoQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q&f=false
    Vulcanised rubber discovered around 1880, and the only possible reason for creating such an elaborate set would be a fair. The fair was in October of 1873. No doubt the vulcanised rubber was a big hit, it being new to the market.
    The doctor of mention, John Seegar is metioned on http://www.jcs-group.com/oldwest/tombstone/doc2.html: “A listing in the 1873 Dallas business directory reads: “Holliday, J.H. (Seegar & Holliday) Elm between Market and Austin Streets.” John Seegar, also from Georgia and a friend of Henry Burroughs Holliday, helped John Henry to get established in Dallas. Not long after hiring the young man, Seegar made him a partner.” However, the page gives conflicting information with the book quoted above. stating that they had dissolved their business before the fair described in the book. Historical inaccuracies are indeed possible. I still believe it was something of their caliber.

  43. Second entry,second possibility:

    Norman W. Kingsley. Often called “The Father of Orthodontics,” Kingsley was a dentist, an artist, writer and sculptor who did pioneering work studying the cleft palate. Norman William Kingsley was born in Stockholm, New York State, on 26 October 1829. After working as a department store clerk, he trained as a dentist under his uncle in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Practising in New York City from 1852, he quickly gained a reputation for the quality of his artificial teeth. He then specialised in the treatment of oral deformities and developed a portable gas blowpipe for dental use. He was also well known for his portrait busts worked in clay. In addition, he did ‘flame paintings’ with his blowpipe, particularly copies of Rembrandts. Kingsley died in Warren Point, New Jersey, on 20 February 1913.

    It is indeed possible that Kingsley created these teeth; he had both the sculpting ability and the dental experience.
    Please note; my email address has been corrected, please apply it to my previous entry on Doc Holliday.

  44. After extensive study of the photographs in question, I have concluded that these are the long lost “Dinner Party Teeth” of U.S. General and first President of the United States George Washington. These are indeed a very important find as their story is interwoven into the fabric of the history of the American Revolution.

    After the Boston Tea Party in 1773, Paul Revere’s silver business had become much less lucrative due to blockades imposed by the British Navy and he began to fund his activities with the pro-independence group “Sons of Liberty” through his burgeoning Dentistry business. By 1775, word had spread of Revere’s work in fine dentures across the colonies. This was due in large part his addition of clip out coupons for tooth cleanings and dentures he often included in the engravings he created for the monthly patriot periodical “The Royal American Magazine”.

    By the time of the Battles of Lexington and Concord in 1775, Washington had lost most of his teeth. This was due in part due his frequent prescription of Mercury Oxide by his doctors but mostly due to his insatiable love of Brazil nuts and rock candy. At times Washington’s orders given on the battlefield were unintelligible or miss-interpreted by his lieutenants which in nearly lead to colonial losses during the siege of Boston. It was obvious to Washington that he required a set of new dentures to carry on the fight against the British. However, due to military hostilities having begun with the Great Britain Washington was cut-off from his usual dentist, Dr. John Greenwood.

    In desperation, Washington requested Revere services who was more than willing to oblige. However Washington had given Revere the added requirement that the teeth be “forged of gold and appropriate for dinner parties and speeches to the Continental Congress”. This meant the teeth would not be ready until the Battle of Long Island in 1776. The work was exhausting and Revere had to melt down several of his golden spoons to acquire the raw materials necessary for the false maxilla. As a consequence to this day, Revere is known more for his surviving silver spoons.

    By the time Washington took the oath of office in 1789, Washington had lost all but one of his teeth. As a consequence, the dentures forged by Revere could not be worn for his famous inaugural speech. Instead, a local carpenter was hired to quickly fashion a suitable replacement made of wood in time for Washington to take the oath of office in New York City. Legend has it that Washington’s inaugural address was the country’s shortest ever because of the intense discomfort caused by these wooden teeth and the embarrassment caused by the fact that he could no longer wear his golden ones.

    In letters written to close family and friends shortly afterwards Revere lamented that after having perfected the “art” of forging fine dentures, Washington being forced to wear crude wooden replacements during is swearing in instead of his “greatest work” was his “life’s greatest disappointment”. Some historians have hypothesized that it was at this time Revere decided to abandon dentistry and Metallurgy in favor of brewing hand crafted ales under the pseudonym “Sam Adams”.

    For years the dentures were stored in the basement of Mount Vernon, serving only occasionally as a conversation pieces at dinner parties and fundraisers. Eventually the University of Maryland Dental School came into possession of them which donated them to the Smithsonian in 1976. They were last seen being readied for display in the Smithsonian for a bicentennial celebration. The choppers never made it to the event after they went missing from a storage area. It was thought at the time that the grinders may have been stolen by Frans Banning. Banning was one of the Smithsonian’s night watchmen who was known to be elderly and in bad need of dentures due to his fondness of apples and an allergy to Polident dental powder. He was never formally charged due to lack of evidence though he remained “a person of interest. Shortly after the incident, Banning retired to Australia. His family was quoated in a local D.C. newspaper that it was “to avoid the constant surveillance and harassment by federal authorities”.

    It is my conclusion that these are in fact these missing teeth stolen by Banning. Not owned by a “Prince” but by George Washington himself, the man who would not be “King” of the United States of America but President.

    Sources: http://www.wikipedia.org

  45. Not seeing my first entry. Re-post:
    From “Doc Holliday: The Life and Legend”: “Doc Holliday and Seegar swept the prises at the state fair for best set of teeth in gold, best set of teeth in vulcanised rubber, and best display of artificial teeth and dental ware.”(footnote 48)
    Book quote found on Google books, at: http://books.google.com/books?id=1jiDpMOmzP4C&pg=PA50&lpg=PA50&dq=Doc+Holliday+dentures&source=bl&ots=wx5ib0cgj5&sig=4czSaw-UTiD7glNVYdyumyYufFM&hl=en&ei=JxtgTY2WLIytgQfY-MS4Ag&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CCoQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q&f=false
    Vulcanised rubber discovered around 1880, and the only possible reason for creating such an elaborate set would be a fair. The fair was in October of 1873. No doubt the vulcanised rubber was a big hit, it being new to the market.
    The doctor of mention, John Seegar is metioned on http://www.jcs-group.com/oldwest/tombstone/doc2.html: “A listing in the 1873 Dallas business directory reads: “Holliday, J.H. (Seegar & Holliday) Elm between Market and Austin Streets.” John Seegar, also from Georgia and a friend of Henry Burroughs Holliday, helped John Henry to get established in Dallas. Not long after hiring the young man, Seegar made him a partner.” However, the page gives conflicting information with the book quoted above. stating that they had dissolved their business before the fair described in the book. Historical inaccuracies are indeed possible. I still believe it was something of their caliber.

  46. Third and final probability:
    Prince Alfred Ernest Albert, Duke of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, and Duke of Edinburgh, (1844-1900), second son and fourth child of Queen Victoria.” Was the first price to visit Australia in 1867. (new information has led me to the discovery that vulcanized rubber dentures were in existence by that year), but only the most influential would have been able to get a set. It is possible that through his many travels Prince Alfred was able to get this amazing pair made for himself. He travelled all over Australia, but his trip was cut short when he was shot in the back by an Irishman named O’Farrell. He was visiting a Sailor’s Home in Clonfert, Sydney at the time. He did recover, and in about a month, set sail again.

    Both the timing and circumstances make it possible for someone to either create or steal his dentures. (Most likely the latter.) Once he’d left, it would have been too late to attempt their retrieval.

    Information found at:

    Okay, I’m tapped for ideas now. 😉

  47. On an interesting note: Prince Alfred would certainly have been able to purchase such a set from Claudius Ashe, as described by previous entries.

  48. These were once commissioned and worn by the first pimp, Sir Robert “Silky Reformation” Leslie. He was known as the “The Pope of Pimping”.

    The word “pimp” first appeared in English in 1607 in a Thomas Middleton in his play entitled “Your Five Gallants” when he realised that he could not say that someone dressed “pimper” than Sir Robert, so “pimp” became a penultimate description .

    To differentiate himself from excommunicatibly dressed fools and other foppish dandies, he commissioned a set of dentures that would set straight to all that would see him and hear of him would know how he “rolled”. Others tried to emulate his style and tried to blaze news paths in fashion and identity, The Hennessy cognac distillery was founded by Irishman Richard Hennessy in 1765 for this very reason.

    Seen as the holy grail of pimpdom, these dentures have long been assumed to be a myth or they were buried with their creator until they recently resurfaced. The owners are currently in talks with the Smithsonian as they are now seen as a cultural icon.

  49. I am very familiar with these teeth. I have a daguerreotype photo in my possession which conclusively proves they used to reside in the mouth of my great-great-grandfather, Jebidiah Blingford.

    Jebidiah was a man who faced many challenges in life. An excruciating case of arthritis in his hip caused him to walk with a pronounced limp. He loved music but was tone deaf and could only speak lyrics – not sing them. His teeth were falling out.

    And yet, when the spirit (or spirits) moved him, he would take to the stage at the local saloon in the Australian outback. There, despite his arthritic hip, he would gamely try to dance. He would try to sing. And – with those few remaining teeth – would try to win the crowd with his smile.

    Perhaps it was because of that determination that miners began donating small crumbs, then nuggets, of gold to Jebidiah Blingford. They intended for him to use it to pay for hip surgery. Instead, ever the eccentric, he used the gold to have those teeth made.

    The first night he performed with his shiny new teeth (and that same old hip problem), the crowd cheered his new look.

    “What do you call those teeth, Jebediah?” someone shouted.

    “I call ’em ‘Bling’ for short,” he said.

    “And what do you call that dance?”

    Jebediah, aware the person was referring to the limp caused by his arthritis, paused for a second.
    And then, my great-great-grandfather uttered the two words that secured his place in music and dance history:

    “Hip Hop.”

    Jebediah died in the outback after a long and satisfying life. Thankfully, his music — and teeth — live on.

  50. In 1987, I developed a time machine. It was my most expensive mistake ever, and by “ever” I mean in all of recorded – and unrecorded – history. Most philosophers of time travel dismiss it by saying that no one has traveled back in time with information from the future, otherwise they’d bet on horse races and become ludicrously rich. Well, yeah, you can go back to 1938 and buy a hundred shares of a little typewriter company called “International Business Machines”. Good idea; the problem is that you have to hang on to them in real time to make the profits.

    I had a better idea. I wanted to change the world for the better. I’d looked at past events. I watched the freezing but clever Homo Sapiens as they survived the ice ages; I heard the gossip in the streets after the assassination of Julius Caesar, listened to the Sermon on the Mount (more of a picnic discussion, really), and eavesdropped on the Constitutional Convention in 1789. There were a tempting array of possibilities: stopping John Wilkes Booth on his way to Ford’s Theater, tweaking Hitler’s application to art school so he could have a more wholesome career, or making Lenin miss that train to St. Petersburg. But too many of these had consequences that couldn’t be controlled by the subtle manipulations of one man. After all, where would I be if I had changed the nation that birthed me, educated me, and allowed me the resources and freedom to build my invention.

    I decided the best opportunity was to build a second free democracy from a British colony. I traveled to London, 1774, and began making my way up the bureaucratic ladder. A few years later, with the American colonies in revolt, the British government needed a place to export their troublemakers and common criminals. The Botany Bay colony in Australia was just starting up, and I contrived to be sent as an assistant to the governor.

    Unfortunately, the ship I was on was poorly commanded – anyone competent was involved more directly in the war effort. Our vessel was becalmed for weeks off Africa, and all of the crew came down with scurvy. The captain was terrified of fevers and refused to head inshore for fresh provisions; we made do on salted meat, dried peas, and rain water until the crew’s one-in-four rations of rum and tobacco became unbearable. My manservant lost his life to illness in his weakened state, and my own hair and teeth began to fall out.

    When, finally, we reached India for reprovisioning, I was put ashore to recuperate. Within days of reaching fresh vegetables, I began to feel better. Four months later I had fully recovered and had regrown a respectable fringe of hair, enough that I had to have it trimmed to wear the wig befitting my station. My teeth, of course, could not grow back, so I had a set of false teeth made from ivory and gold. The craftsmanship of Indian goldsmiths was the equal – no, the better of any in Europe. I do not know where they found the pink stone to model the gums, but aside from the filigrees the effect was reasonably natural and I could at last chew my food.

    Eventually, I was well enough to book passage to the new Australian continent. My attempts to bring about an enlightened form of government had been sadly weakened by the delay. Though I endeavored to bring a humane policy to the treatment of those criminals who had been transported, those who had established their power were enriching themselves with the slavery of the convicts and treating them even worse than the Americans treated their slaves – convicts had no resale value. My entreaties were in vain and I found myself on the wrong side of certain corrupt elements.

    After a few unfortunate encounters with those who profited from the misery of their own fellow-men, I was obliged to abandon my position in haste. In such haste, in fact, that I left without my baggage, my papers, most of my money, and even my teeth.

    I made my way to a port where I was able to take passage back to London with a ship whose captain was as disgusted with his mission as I was. Of course there was no way I could have brought my time machine on the voyage, nor did I trust it intact to any individual, so I had stored it in several separate locations with a number of reliable warehousemen. When I finally reached England again, I retrieved the bulk of my equipment but found myself without a power source for the return journey. That building had been destroyed by fire in my absence and my batteries were lost.

    Recalling my high school science courses, I was able to give a bit of clandestine guidance to the great chemist Humphrey Davy in exchange for access to his “Voltaic pile” which was in essence a giant battery. With a huge supply of copper, zinc, and seawater, we were able to develop a high enough amount of power to return me to the present. As a parting gift, I suggested he run his batteries though a molten crucible of potash, with results that made him famous.

    I have been back for over two decades now, regretful of my silly and naïve attempts to change history even in a far-off part of the world. While I treasure modern conveniences such as electricity, indoor plumbing, and computers, my most grateful thanks is given to the inventions of modern dentistry which have given me a set of dentures I can wear without discomfort and that do not overly transmit the heat of a cup of boiling tea to my sensitive palate.

    I am truly pleased to see that my old false teeth have been recovered and placed on public display. It makes me wonder about their story – no doubt kept by my landlady Mrs. Wiggins in lieu of back rent, passed on and forgotten by her descendants until today. I do not wish them back, they may stay in a museum forever. But I do thank you for this opportunity to reminisce about an adventure in time that had quite different consequences than I had hoped.

  51. During the later of the 1940s to early 1950s Clint Eastwood was just establishing himself as the big shot western actor we have come to love. During this time he had played an orderly in the hit tv movie called Allen in Movieland, In this movie he co-acted with an actor by the name of Steve Allen who at the time had just started dating the young European hottie named Elizabeth Taylor, who within the previous 10 years had established herself as an up and coming star in the film world, with such acts as The Big Hangover, Ivanhoe, and The Girl Who Had Everything.

    Eastwood instantly fell in love, but how could he come by such a class act. One afternoon while Steve Allen was filming a part for the movie Eastwood approached Mrs. Taylor and kissed her. Before realizing what he had done he felt a hand on his shoulder. As he spun around Steve Allens fist met the right side of Eastwood’s mouth knocking out his back three molars, and then connecting again with the front knocking out two more in the front.

    After this scuffle went down Eastwood went into extreme depression. Three weeks of seeing nothing but the bottom of a bottle of whiskey he began to pull the 7 remaining teeth out of the topside of his mouth. Fearing his acting career and the girl of his dreams would never be he got to thinking. After hours of searching the prop room from the set of (singing in rain) he found these teeth. Since this film was shot originally in black and white what people don’t realize is that Gene Kelly actually had used these teeth until Eastwood had taken them.

    Eastwood was so upset with the world, he convinced himself he was the baddest outlaw ever and so started his film career as one of the greatest western actors ever. Years later a close friend of his noticed that his teeth were the ones Gene Kelly had used, because he had helped produce the film. Disgusted by the thought he tossed them into the river nearby his cabin in Oklahoma. As for how they resurfaced i have no idea.

  52. They belonged to the late, great Herve Villechaize. He wore them in a never released episode of Fantasy Island, where Herve got to choose his own fantasy. His dream came true as he became a high-rollin’ pimp. The didactic twist, as with all the glorious episodes, was when his forbidden love affair with one of his fantasy woman turned out to be Mr. Rourke in drag. The lesson being: be careful what you wish for, because you just might end up being a small pimp person on a fantastical island tricked into fornicating with Ricardo Montalban in drag. The audience of those days were not prepared for such a zinger, and thus they dropped the episode. The only artifact left in proof of this story is the gold fronts of Herve; which are not actually gold, they are fine Corinthian leather!

  53. Tycho Brahe, the famed Danish scientist and astronomer of the 1500’s, was the owner and proud wearer of these teeth. As a student in Germany, he fought a famous duel with another student which resulted in the loss of his nose. He replaced it with a specially made nose made from silver and copper…A lesser known incident was a brawl in Leipzig a few years later, in which he successfully defended his honor but lost his teeth in the process. These gold teeth were created for him as a gift from Prince Christian of Denmark to thank Tycho for his casting of a horoscope for him, and Tycho wore them often..especially when attending the royal court of King Frederick II in Denmark.

    Sadly, the method of creating these teeth required the use of mercury for some of the plating, and this may have eventually led to his death in 1601. Earlier forensic examinations of his hair have revealed high levels of mercury, consistent with long term exposure to the deadly metal, and led to a final exhumation of his remains in November 2010 which hopes to provide a conclusive cause of death. One of the great minds of his time, Tycho Brahe may have actually died for fashion.

  54. The false teeth were commissioned by the Turkish bandit Fariq during the final days of the Ottoman Empire. A fan chewing on the tough outer rinds of the tannic nut., a rare and precious snack. As he lost his actual teeth during repeated face punching in battle he found himself missing the nut. Once the teeth were finished he had the same artisan create a set of decorative nostril wideners for his son’s wedding. The teeth were lost in a drunken fist fight at the wedding and have only recently resurfaced the nostril wideners are still missing.

  55. I remember those teeth!! They belonged to Captain Mavrick Denshald, who was the former owner of the sub-bordello “Nauticle-but-Nice” and the murderer of husband, James. I had these as a souvenier after I (with the support of his crew) did a…. hostile take-over, but they kept on upsetting the customers so I had get rid of them (a story in itself, by the way.)

  56. As so the story comes and goes, we have no deadline, we know nothing concrete but still we want to find out what lies behind this “mysterious case”. If you need the insight and have the interest, I will reveal what lies beneath.

    Once upon a time, lived a prince ruler of the seas. He casted each ocean, fought deadly monsters and caught many treasures. He was no pirate, as so it is told. He was simply what he was. But everyone knew him for his unique teeth. Each time he smiled women would come to him. It wasn’t easy getting rid of them afterwards! He did not posses great looks nor intellectual skills of any kind. But still he had tenor, courage and humor.

    Some say he lost his teeth due to “unwillingness to clean his teeth”. This is the true reason behind this story.

  57. These were obviously stolen from a Pirate who reveled in Hip Hop!

    Back in the 1600s, when Hip Hop was still an underrepresented form of art (especially in Northern Crete, where this brave Pirate was located), the peasants just weren’t ready yet. So one night they banded together and stole the Pirate’s teeth, so he would no longer be able to perform. But alas, the peasants fought over their booty, and during the melee, the set of golden teeth fell into the Mediterranean Sea.

    For centuries the teeth were lost in the ocean, until one day they washed up on the shores of Italy, and were thus sold into a private collection by a poor fisherman, never to be admired again – until NOW!

  58. Those are Teddy Roosevelt’s teeth.

    He had to relinquish his real teeth when tried, and nearly succeeded, in biting the sun in half.

    Afterwords his real teeth were considered too dangerous, especially if they fell into the wrong hands so they were sealed in a cavern deep beneath the Earth.

    He got these teeth as a gift for defeating the Lizard Man in South America. He would wear them while riding the dragon he tamed on trips out.


    A recent movie titled The Kings Speech is the true life tale of King George VI of England who had trouble speaking without stuttering. His frustration reached a point where he sought help from a poor speech therapist. After several sessions without improvement the therapist asked, “Your Majesty. If you would be so kind, may I inspect the interior of your mouth?” When the king opened up he saw the most beautiful set of enamel and filigreed gold dentures he had ever seen in his life. They must have cost a fortune.

    He asked the King if he would remove his false teeth so he could inspect them further. The King said, “Cer…cer..certainly.” The teeth were so heavy in the therapists hands he could hardly hold them. Of course! He knew why the King stuttered. The weight of the teeth kept him from opening his mouth. The King confessed that he was afraid to open his mouth as his teeth might fall out. They were extremely valuable and he didn’t want to be robbed.

    Almost immediately he stopped stuttering. He was cured! But he had acquired a lisp. When asked if he could tell him which dentist had made the dentures the King responded, “Ther…ther…thertainly.” They hadn’t been made by a dentist but by the court jeweler. The therapist asked if he could keep the teeth for several days as he knew someone who could make a new set that would be five pounds lighter. And sure enough, when the new set of dentures were placed in the king’s mouth the lisping and the stuttering were gone. However the king whistled now more than he had before.
    The king’s enameled and gold filigreed teeth had disappeared only to surface decades later in an estate sale of a speech therapist who stuttered.

  60. Edentulous

    The dentist’s hands tasted of urine. As I lay on that couch, anticipating the next sufficient pull of the forceps, my thoughts naturally turned to the recent events that lead to this supine position.

    I was staying with the Comte De P- in his Marseilles apartments. I suffered a dissipation of fortune in 1853, and was grateful for the respite he offered the next year. A decrepit, though generous patron, he expressed himself in an artless manner through gifts of his munificent nature. From him I never heard the slightest recrimination of my low circumstances or regret at the disposition of some material trifle.

    Although I experienced a satiety of physical requirements, I felt an emotional anxiety. An inchoate desire evoked an obscure perversion, a fascination with the Comte’s dental fittings. Fashioned as a pair, (mandible partial, maxillary plate) the exquisitely fashioned devices proved an irresistible attraction. At our meals together I tried not to focus my attention too closely during such discrete views of the oral treasure as the Comte’s somber mastication would provide. I drank in nervous sips from a never empty goblet while averting my eyes to conceal their covetous gleam.

    I resolved at last to possess those tempting dental objects. My jealous nature expressed itself in such a diabolical culinary scheme that even now I can describe it only in the merest outline. I will describe the fiendish plot to you, dear reader. Judge for yourself its merits!

    For several hours a day, to the end of possessing the divine instruments, I would ply the confectioner’s skills to certain mixtures of sugar, butter, water, rare flavorings. I produced such soft, chewy candies as would tempt even the most jaded palate. While visiting the candy stores of Marseilles, ostensibly to collect samples of their art, I would ply their owners with obsequious questions, designed to extract novel secrets. To this catalog I applied subtle transformations designed to increase mandibular leverage. I would have those dentures! In those hours, P- would amble about the apartment, the fragrant mist provoking desire for the sweet, sticky substances.

    Setting aside an hour a day, P- and I would consume tea and sweetmeats. At first, his natural reticence expressed itself in a refusal to contemplate the dental carnage that would ensue from such food. After a few days, his self-denial became merely gratuitous. Finally, O the day! he succumbed in an abundant, grateful enjoyment of an especially thick toffee. The ultimate moment! Even now I remember with affection that plangent afternoon, a time of coffee-colored caramels, marshmallow pillows, almond pralines. My emotions were wholly of anticipatory desire. I distinctly remember my elation at the sight of my host removing the coveted oral objects after a particularly difficult bout with an exquisite anise licorice.

    At this acme, under Eutychia’s spell, I knew mere possession of the dental artifacts would not quell my strange desire. To fully realize my passion I had to contain the precious cargo! I soon found an incurious dentist near the Old Port, and made several appointments to remove my offending dentition.

    Today, my preparations are complete! This afternoon I will finish our diet of the sweet stuff. Tonight I will proudly display my dental trophy! P- knows that sometime during the session, the dentures will be pulled out as he chews on the soft candies. He cannot resist the attraction, such is his undoing and my success. We enjoy an exquisite toffee, with ambrosial Earl Grey. Our conversation is a truncated colloquy as I can speak only in guttural utterances.

    He reaches for another caramel and O the horror! he succumbs to some strange swoon! Slumped in his armchair, left arm metronomically twitching, he is dead! O wretched fortune! I had intended to flee the city, after ingesting my reward. Perhaps a journey to Australia, where I would make my life anew. Now I find my host has unexpectedly succumbed in an antiquarian swoon. My plans were to travel tomorrow morning. If only I can delay my departure for a few hours.

    Now there comes a knock at the main door! I am undone! I must move the old man, where? The kitchen refrigeration chamber! Move the body and there extract the treasure. P-’s corpse is as light as a bird. I lift it easily over my right shoulder and hurry to the chamber. Inside, I prop the limp cargo against the wall. Pulling down the mandible, I extract the precious cargo. Despite a clamor at the door, I cannot interrupt my labors. There is no time to fit the dentures, so I place them next to the recumbent body. I sense shallow breathing, but I fear he cannot be far from final rest.

    Who is at the door? In shallow imitation of P-’s hospitality, I open the door to find four of the building’s childish cohort: E-, F-, G-, and H-. Alas! I now remember P- generously shares my confectionery creations with them. Bursting past me, they shout for P-, in gleeful anticipation of those glycemic delights.

    A saccharine aroma attracts the children to the kitchen. I belatedly pursue. My eyes register a fact, but my mind is slow to react. I realize that the door to the refrigeration chamber is ajar! How could I be so neglectful! Still the interior of the room is dark, and their childish nature restrains them from further exploration. I try to urge them from the room, but can only manage an indistinct gurgle. It is a futile attempt to usher them into the sitting room and candy, away from the future corpse. Childishly willful, they refuse to leave the room! They flutter about the chamber and call to P- for his attention. The little daemons!

    What’s this! H- stops in her gambols, what does she hear? Quieting her coevals, she moves closer to the refrigeration chamber. Slowly, she enters the fateful room, the others close behind. I walk in a dreamlike lentor to the room. There! on the floor! The body, the false teeth! See them! Magically gifted with mechanical motion they jump and chatter in daemonic laughter!

  61. With evening drinks in hand, Robert Oppenheimer was accused of being a homosexual sympathizer after proposing the name “Fat Man / Little Boy” for an atomic weapon used in World War II subsequently being socked in the puss only to lose his teeth. Afterward Leslie R. Groves of the Army Corp. of Engineers commissioned a set of false teeth for Oppenheimer using the Federal Black Budget to fund such an expensive undergoing. History lesson aside the teeth are mine, Edward the Great the first and last king of Scotland. Return them at once.

  62. In 1929, at the age of 21, Ian Flemming met Norris Farlane, a friend of his father, Valentine Flemming. Farlane was, like Valentine, a member of Parliament and a disgraced Illuminatus.

    Farlane had been invited to the Flemming estate to advise Valentine Flemming on financial matters and to smoke opium, which both had been doing together since childhood. Ian was invited to share the pipe, but had begged off, citing physical frailness and a new found moral equilibrium which threatened to render him both socially paralyzed and (approximately) two inches shorter.

    While serving tea to his father and guest, however, young Ian happened to spy Farlane’s ornate, gold false teeth. The combination of opium fumes, acid-laced tea and the recent, rigorous climb up nine flights of stairs rendered Ian almost impossibly open to psychological suggestion. As he beheld the oral aural, his mind flash burned, in an instant, the entire James Bond mythos. All that was left, like Joseph Smith and his plates, was for him to transcribe his visions.

    Where Farlane obtained the golden teeth is another story entirely. But that they are uniquely and completely responsible for one of the great epics of popular British fiction is as astounding as it is inspiring.

  63. The Emperor’s Teeth of the Tiger and the Dragon! Here, I will tell you the legend…

    In Ancient China lived an Emperor lost to history, Chun, who was gentle and beloved of his people. He was old, to the point that he had lost his teeth and he had no successor, yet for the most part the people trusted him to name one wisely when the time was right, since he was wise and had earned his wisdom over his many years.

    Convinced that he lacked the strength to rule his people and to name a worthy successor before he died, a rebellion rose up under the renegade warrior Jin, so fierce that he was nicknamed the Dragon by those who served him or cowered in his wake. But they did not reckon with Chun’s bodyguard, the true strength behind the throne, known only as the Tiger to those who even knew he existed. As Jin’s forces slaughtered their way to the Emperor’s Palace, the Tiger himself, risking his life to save his master, infiltrated their camp, and one night found his way to the Dragon’s tent. With a poisoned dagger he took out the guards without a sound, and reapplied the venom to his blade, ready to assassinate the leader of the uprising.

    However, the Dragon’s sense were sharp, and hearing the near-silent sound of the guards’ bodies hitting the floor, he silently rose and aimed his blade at the entrance. As the Tiger entered, he thrust the sword through his would-be assassin’s heart… but only after the Tiger’s hand whipped out and scratched his face with the poisoned blade. That was all it took.

    The loss of their leader threw the rebellion into disarray, and the Imperial Army defeated them easily. When the two heroes were found, each slain by the other’s hand, the Emperor ordered their possessions to be brought to him. Most were added to the treasures of the palace, but the Emperor kept two gold bands that each had worn around their wrists. For the tragic truth was, the two men, the Tiger and the Dragon were brothers, separated by time and circumstance, slain by each others’ hand before reaching even the age of 30.

    Chun decided to destroy the bands that remained evidence of the cruelty of fate, and had them made instead into a set of false teeth, the gold of each on either side of his mouth. For, he spoke, though I speak with the wisdom of age, I must also speak the courage of youth if I am truly to rule wisely. And, as though the fates smiled upon him, the Emperor who spoke from his mouth Dragon and Tiger, action and observation, light and shadow, courage and cunning, yin and ying, ruled for many years afterwards, until on his deathbed he passed the teeth to one of his trusted counselors to rule the Empire in his stead, securing a reign of peace and prosperity for many years to come.

  64. I work as an assistant conservator at the British Library, England. The department I am in deals with cataloguing donated and purchased documents, manuscripts and ephemera. Last year I received a box of manuscripts dating back to the early 19th century. Most of these were water and fire damaged, and are accounts of income/expenditure from a business that operated through this period. It was a large box, and I usually leave the analysis to other librarians, but a partially fire damaged journal amongst the papers caught my eye. It turned out to be the diary of the proprietor, Mr. C. Ash. This is an account of what was in that diary, and what I have been able to research on the net and in books in the time since.

    Ash & Sons were goldsmiths in Westminster, London, but from about 1830 on, they almost exclusively designed and manufactured dentures using porcelain with gold plates and springs. Entries in Ash’s journal are generally short, but on July 16 1838, an entry lists new workers in the firm, with “one particular curiosity being a Moori (sic) from New Zealand”. Subsequent pages reveal this employee as Te Ahika (no last name is recorded, and his name was “soon changed to a good English ‘Andrew’”), a labourer in whom Ash took a special interest, gradually teaching him to read and write, and eventually the trade of “smithing”.

    Ash’s interest was rewarded with an “unusual skill and aptitude” in his apprentice, as well as a unique style of goldsmith work that he describes as “having curvatures reminiscent of the decorations of his home country”. Described as “kow-vievie” by Ash, they were most likely derivatives of the kowhaiwhai forms in Maori traditional carving. Andrew’s signature decorations can be seen on the gums of the dentures pictured, and in other of the items he produced in the same period. Throughout the diary Ash describes Andrew as eager to learn, but “eternally homesick, and almost constantly depressed about the weather”.

    In 1845 Andrew was officially adopted by Ash, taking the name Andrew Ash, and joining a family of 8 existing children. A highly controversial event at the time, Ash describes it as “a debacle opposed by all in the community, with only support from Sarah (his wife)”. From this time on, diary entries become more and more erratic and emotional. Ash describes a rift between himself and several of his sons that seems to be rooted in the adoption, and eventual partial inheritance Andrew would receive.

    Diary entries cease on November 1st, 1854. Several days leading up to this date, Ash details heightened tensions between himself and his eldest son. UK birth and death records show that Claudius Ash died in an accidental fire in the workshop on November 3rd, 1854, but lists the body remains as “unrecoverable”.

    There are no birth/death records relating to the names Te Ahika, or Andrew Ash that I can find, however through some research on the unique style of gold work he produced, I’ve found references from 1856-1860, to several goldsmith workshops set up in Sydney and Perth, Australia, who produced strikingly similarly decorated dentures and jewellery. Registered owner names of these workshops differ, but in each, similarities in production, method and trading (each opens within 1-2 months of the previous one closing) are unavoidable. While it is uncertain where the dentures in question were produced, it is likely they were made by Te Ahika/Andrew Ash, and sold to a customer, or pawn shop in Australia

    I don’t have so much access to Australian archives, so perhaps someone else can fill in gaps, but in June 1860 – 2 months after the final goldsmith workshop closed – immigration passenger lists show that a widow, Sarah Ash departed London on the passenger ship “Phoenix”, and arrived in Auckland, New Zealand in January 1861. There were no jewellers or goldsmiths operating at this time that bear any resemblance to the work that was produced by either Ash or his adopted son/apprentice, and the name Sarah Ash disappears after her arrival in the Auckland ports in New Zealand.

  65. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the pictures of great-great-great grandmothers dentures. For decades the family has kept secret the truth behind the dentures but apparently there is a traitor somewhere in the family as we were led to believe all of ggg-dentures were properly reconstituted upon arrival in England. It is unclear how the dentures shown in the pictures managed to find their way to a pawn shop in Australia. However, since this has happened, I can now relate the history of ggg-dentures. In the mid-1800’s, my family was forced to flee their homeland, Russia. The fact that they were fourth generation royalty would explain the distain the locals had for anyone connected to the royal families. The family was extremely wealthy but getting out of the country with anything of value was nearly impossible. Great-great-great grandmother, who was a bit more intelligent than most of the family conceived a plan to get most of the family wealth out of Russia before fleeing the country. Her plan was so simple it required only one non-family member to make it work. Her long time servant, a master craftsman, created a perfect mold from her oversized dentures and proceeded to produce hundreds of sets of dentures made from precious metals. Not all sets were as ornate as the ones in the pictures but all sets were equally valuable. Great-great-great grandmother was then able to disguise the dentures and ship several hundred sets to a trusted contact in England where the dentures were melted down and the valuable metals collected. Upon fleeing Russia, the family took up residence in England and although we never knew for sure how much wealth ggg-grandmother actually got out of Russia, we do know that several generations later, we are still living comfortably from our generous inheritances.

  66. Well from looking at them I would imagine they are of Russian manufacture, likely early 1900’s late 1800’s possibly by Faberge’ and quite possibly a gift from the Czarina to Rasputin the mad monk who was known for his bad dental hygene. At least that is what I would tell people if I owned them.

  67. Linda Wagoner
    The auction is ready to begin and police have blocked off half the city. The people arrive in a frenzy of gold fever. Who’s going to buy the set of antique gold and pearly white false teeth? Everybody knew Zephyr Morrocco, their deceased owner, the poster man of the century. Dressed in elegant clothing, he wore the smile of a millionaire. Men hurried out to buy magazines that photographed him each month. Women and teen-age girls fancied a life with this interesting wonder. His lineage was royalty. Of course nobody in this country knew he was the black sheep who brought disgrace to his family. His life had been planned from birth, it was in his blood, but adventure was in his heart and mind. He smuggled and worked his way to the land of opportunity. By the age of 21 he was a citizen of the United States and later moved to California. He always carried a childhood picture on him. It was the only picture ever made of his family on an afternoon picnic. And there was his father flashing a big, happy smile, showing a mouthful of pearly white teeth with their unusual gold décor.
    Gum disease had shamed and embarrassed his good name so he did the only proper thing expected of royalty. He had teeth, white as mother pearl herself, set in an exquisite mold with an impression of the royal crown in the middle of the upper plate. Gold etchings decorated both molding and teeth, which he wore with dignity. They cost a small fortune and of course added to the family inheritance.
    So, Zephyr Morrocco, at the young age of thirty-two, inherited the misfortunate experience of being stricken with gum disease. He went to Alaska, the land of gold, and any fool could go. But Zephyr had a brilliant mind for the unusual and his hands worked with as much creativity as his mind. By the time his project was finished you could not have recognized his set of pearly white and gold etched teeth from the now antiquated ones his father wore. And who, in the United States of America, wore such a decorated set of teeth as these? It was his golden opportunity! His fame traveled throughout the states, on posters, billboards and magazine articles. After all, who could dispute this display of inheritance?
    And now his fame lives on with his famous teeth. An enlargement of the family picture with his smiling father is set up for a portrait beside the teeth. The bidding is rapid and the gavel finally hits the auction block for the last time with a resounding, “Sold.”
    The city goes back home. And the 90-year-old woman, nobody paid any attention to, returns to her country. She snickers at the foolishness of the foreigners and smiles at the memory of her dear husbands funeral. He looked his royal self in the lavishly decorated casket with those gold teeth in his mouth, because of course he couldn’t be seen toothless.
    As for the set of teeth auctioned off? Some American millionaire bought them to add to his collection of stories for the family album. He apparently funded much of her son’s publicity. She had his address and was preparing the legal document with her husband’s, Prince Morrocco’s, sealed insignia on it. It contained formal information of his teeth, including copyright date. The original set had a number inscribed on them, barely visible to the naked eye. The millionaire had no claim to fame!

  68. Manufactured in Russia in the 1940s. A Jewish Gypsy blacksmith, goldsmith, and jewelry-maker, Yoska Abramsky, knew of Hitler’s uprising and of his plan to put counter-revolutionaries and non-Aryans in concentration camps. He had traveled around Europe quite a bit doing gold work for various heads of state, many of which did not pay him much, as they claimed that the privilege to work for them was payment enough. However, he always kept a small piece of gold for himself out of the provided amount as his own form of payment (the heads of state would procure the gold or jewels for him, as many times they had significant or sentimental meaning).

    He had recently traveled through Germany in order to get to Belgium, where he was to deliver a delicate, jewel-encrusted medallion to the Queen when he read and heard about the uprising and discrimination towards Gypsies and Jews, two of his kind. He was horrified to see how powerful the movement was, and quickly hastened to Belgium to deliver the medallion.

    He just as quickly returned home, avoiding major cities and staying in small towns overnight until he reached Russia. He knew that Hitler’s great power would most likely spread and take over most, if not all, of the continent. He had seen the ransacking of businesses and homes firsthand. He gathered his private collection of gold and knew that he must somehow create something to hide and protect it, and keep it on his person at all times.

    After many drafts and brainstorming sessions, he created these dentures, made to fit around his existing teeth (some of his adult teeth were missing, however) so that he could keep his valuable gold safe at all times. He soon crafted the teeth, keeping the front (visible) teeth pearly white so that the gold was not easily detectable. Being a somewhat world-renowned goldsmith and jewelry-maker, he made them as beautiful as possible, not lowering his craftsmanship for his practical purpose.

    He kept the teeth in his mouth at all times–during the day and even while he slept. He learned to eat with them if necessary and of course knew how to clean them very well, but he only took them out in the privacy of his own dark shop.

    After crafting the teeth, he began to close down his shop, selling his tools to rival blacksmiths and saving his money. He soon after traveled south, eventually traveling down through present-day China and joining a sailing vessel which eventually came into a port in Australia, where he lived for the rest of his life.

  69. I see nothing that stipulates only one entry, so here is my second story. If only one entry is allowed, take the first.

    A Prince, after seeing Dada and Absurdist pieces by Duchamp and Dali, held a contest to see who could build the most ridiculous, garish, yet functional piece of “art.” Though many submitted, these teeth were the winning entry.

  70. These are the fabled passes that will get you through the interdimensional time warp to the planet dentritis-3 in the Plaedian galaxy. Without this pass, you are doomed to fight the Mega Monster for all of eternity, or until you get tired – whichever happens first.

  71. There is an old tale that my Grandmother used to tell me when I was young about a rich merchant who was obsessed by gold. In his youth he was so poor that he had to resort to begging and petty thievery. He became obsessed by the bits of gold and jewels that adorned the the rich. He managed to steal a beautiful gold ring when he picked a wealthy man. He hid it from the rest of his family as if they had seen it they would have made him pawn it. He carried this ring everywhere and adored it with an almost religious ferocity. He vowed to himself that he would someday escape the bonds of his poor birth and become adored with the garm of the rich.
    A few years later he came into some money from his Godfather. His Godfather was not rich but he was much better off then his nephew. The man felt that this was his chance to finally escape poverty. He took his inheritance, his ring and some money that his family had stored away and left to a nearby city. He never thought back on the family he left behind and the money he took from them. The man decided to try to make his fortune. He had no real skills so he decided to invest his money into a trading company. Putting his money into the trading company was a success and his wealth increased. The man was a very lucky investor. Everywhere he invested he made a profit. The once beggar child was now a very wealthy man.
    He adored himself with rings and chains in a gaudy fashion. He wore the most fashionable dress. In all matters besides dress he was cheap. He lived in a small house with only a single servant. He ate meals at pubs when he could afford much finer cuisine. He was considered a very eccentric man who dressed like a king but lived like the poor. Many people in the city thought his eccentricity extended into insanity. One day while walking home from a pub a mugger stopped him. The mugger attempted to take his wallet and jewels but the man would not hear it. He could not lose the finery that he worked so hard to gain! So the man attempted to grab the blade from his mugger and in the process he severely cut the fingers on his right hand. The mugger was shocked by this bloody display so he ran off. The tip of two of the man’s fingers and the whole pinky had to be amputated but the man felt it was worth it because he kept his finery. The man approached a gold smith to make prosthetic fingers to replace the ones he lost in the attack. He was proud of the new metallic look of his fingers. It was like he was actually becoming gold. As he got older his teeth started falling out. He approached the gold smith again and had him make a pair of Gold Dentures for him. This made him even happier then the prosthetic fingers. Now every word he spoke was golden. He was becoming what he loved most.
    Every time after this the man went to the goldsmith when he was injured. When he needed stitches he had the goldsmith stitch him with gold thread. When he was internal complaints he had the goldsmith give him gold dust to swallow. Gold was the only medicine he needed.
    The man was old now and gold was still his mistress. He had been sick for a while and had been coughing up blood. The gold dust didn’t seem to be helping him any more. He needed something more. He took to swallowing golden pellets but this didn’t seem to help either. He didn’t think that gold could ever fail him though. He obviously needed more gold. He started taking the gold dust at every meal yet this was not helping him. He even swallowed some of his many golden rings and chains but this was not help. He went to the goldsmiths once more. The goldsmith was out but his shop was open. In the corner in a small vat there was liquid gold. The man had never seen gold in it’s molten state and to him it was truly beautiful. It was even more beautiful then the solid chains that he wore. Something that beautiful had to be the cure to his sickness. There was a lead ladle like contraption in the gold. He picked up the ladle while it was loaded with gold. He opened his mouth and poured the liquid down his gullet. Needless to say the burning liquid killed him in a horrific way but hi corpse was found with a smile on his face and gold stuck on his dentures. In life he was consumed by gold yet it truly was gold that consumed him.

    I hope you liked my little story. It was the first thing I thought of for some odd reason,

  72. Thank goodness you found them! I had all but given up on finding these. They were actually mine during a former life as a Chinese emperor. I was a very minor emperor during the Mang dynesty (not to be confused with Ming, awful folk). This was a few hundred years back and someone forgot to leave them somewhere I could find them when I was old enough to travel back to China after being reborn in India. In my previous life to being the Chinese Emperor I was a tree which left me with a penchant for chewing on bark. A little odd and somewhat self cannibalistic I suppose, but it is what it is. Suffice to say, eating bark was not too kind on my Chinese teeth. Being the emperor, as minor as I was, I could not have average looking fake teeth. These were specially designed to withstand bark chewing and look fabulous at the same time. Thank you again for finding them, please contact me immediately to arrange the transference of my rightful property.

  73. Legend has it that the Prince Wilhelm I of Prussia and al his descendants wore these teeth as a sign of their power. After the unification of Germany in the 19th century, Wilhelm’s line fell out of power, but the teeth stayed in the family. They went down the bloodline until the mid 20th century when one Freidrick Wagner went to a bar where Mr. T worked as a bouncer. Wagner got into a fight, and was kicked out. Now Mr. T’s signature golden chains came from his days as a bouncer. They started as a lost-and-found/challenge for those who lost their jewelry after a fight. Freidrick Wagner took out his golden dentures, so they wouldn’t be damaged, but was not able to retrieve them before being thrown down the stairs as Mr. T was wont to do. Mr. T wore them for a while, but stopped after a few days; Wagner did not come to claim them, and Mr. T was somewhat grossed out wearing them. Later, he sold them at a charity auction, which is where the seller’s uncle got a hold of them.

  74. clearly these could have only belonged to one man- chuck norris. after defeating the fearsome abominable snow beast of a small village on the outskirts of siberia, sir norris(as they call him), was gifted these teeth as a reward for freeing all of russia from the beast’s reign of terror. how he lost them is a mystery to all…

  75. The gilded dentures date back to the 16th century when Prince Reginald Mukracker III had a horrific accident during an equestrian event on his palace property in East Suffolk. Prince Reggie, as he was known, was a strapping young lad at age 22. He was considered quite a catch and was an eligible bachelor since his first wife’s (his half-sister) untimely demise just one year before. It seemed his first wife / half sister had a habit of sneaking out to the horse paddock after supper each night where she would smoke a weed she would find growing near the forest edge on palace property. Little did she know that the weed was actually hemlock. One night while smoking, the vapors drove one of the horses mad and it trampled her to death. It was no matter – the hemlock would have killed her in about a month’s time eirther way. But I digress.

    So Prince Reggie took to riding his favorite steed, Maverick, during an exhibiton event for Princess Nubatta of Nigeria. He had hopes that his riding would prove worthy to win the Princess’s hand in marriage – as everyone knows how much money Nigerian Royalty has. His overall plan was to marry the Princess for her extensive dowry then expose her to one mild illness, as everyone also knows how medically fragile Nigerian Royalty is.

    So Prince Reggie was riding Maverick, who just happened to be the horse that trmpled Reggie’s first wife, when he decided that he would race the noble beast across the fields of the kingdom in an effort to show Princess Nubatta how daring he was. He trotted the horse closer and closer to the edge of the forest. On his last pass, Maverick’s hooves trampled some fresh hemlock at the forest edge. The aroma immediately sent Maverick into a tizzy, bucking and flailing the prince arcoss the field. The prince fared well, except he had the majority of his teeth knocked out during the horse’s rampage. The Nigerian Princess, seeing such a catastrophe fainted and slipped into a deep coma. When the Princess came to, she asked to see Prince Reggie. When she saw that he had no teeth, she declared him unfit for marriage and left immediately back to Nigeria so she could return to her life of sending letters to potential investors looking to secure the estates of her dead relatives.

    Prince Reggie was heartbroken. He had never faced such rejection. He decided that any commoner would be enthralled to be wedded to him, teeth or no teeth. He arranged to have a ball where all the lovely young lasses of his kingdom could come and be appraised for their potential to be married to the prince.

    The night of his ball, the young ladies showed up in scores. News of Prince Reggie’s charm and good looks were well know far and wide across the kingdom; however the news that he had lost his teeth had not spread. As the young lasses came before him the night of the ball, there was no one that would agree to marriage with the prince. As the night wound down, there was only one young lady left. A poor metalsmith’s daughter named Valerie. She hadn’t yet had a chance to talk with Prince Reggie, as she had felt too shy and unworthy of the potential of marriage to the prince.

    Prince Reggie found Valerie to be too skinny and very plain of face, but what choice did he have? As prince, he needed to be wed – there needed to be a princess by order of royal decree (which was really just his mom the queen staying on his case for grandchildren). He approached Valerie and rahter than ask her hand in marriage, he simply told her they would be wed in a fortnight.

    Valerie didn’t like to be ordered around and she has horrified when she saw the state of his teeth. She decided that if she were to be wed, that it would be under her terms. She left for home to spread the news of her upcoming nuptuals with her father. She explained the situation that no other would take the once handsome prince as their husband because of his lack of teeth. Valerie was crestfallen, but told her father that her marriage to the prince would mean a better life for her entire family. And besides, the Prince seemed like an okay guy – he just didn’t have nice teeth.

    The kindly old metalsmith wanted more than anything for his daughter to be happy. He knew that she would never marry any better than the prince. He also knew that she would do her best to look beyond the prince’s one major cosmetic fault.

    “But why should she?” The metalsmith though one day while casting bronze into a shield one day. The metelsmith searched therough his house, finding every last piece of gold he could find. He begged in the townsquare for a few pieces of gold as well. He melted the gold down and poured the molten liquid into molds of his very own teeth. He then cast the teeth into clay and enamel that he had painstakingly crafted. When he was finished, the old metalsmith still had some gold leftover. Since he did not have a dowry to offer the prince, he took the leftover gold and fashioned the most basutiful, ornate dentures that anyone had ever seen.

    On the day of the wedding the entire kingdom was present, including the scores of comely lasses that had rejected the prince. The metalsmith waited until after the vows were exchanged. As the couple said “I do.” and kissed as man and wife, the metalsmith went up to the couple.

    ‘Prince Reggie, I do not have a dowry to offer you. Instead I have taken all that we have to give you these.” With that, the metalsmith presented the prince with the gilded dentures. The prince was overjoyed, Valerie was surprised as well, as she didn’t know beforehand what her father had done with all their gold.

    Prince Reggie put the dentures into his mouth. Instantly, he became the most handsome man in the kingdom. The comely lasses began to approach him, they thought perhaps they could change the prince’s mind before it was too late and the marriage was fully consummated. For a moment it looked like the prince would cast aside his new bride for one of the more attractive offerings in the kingdom.

    Valerie could see the look in her new husband’s eyes. “You can dissovle this marriage, but should I go, I will take my dowry with me.”

    The prince was an honest man and true to his promises. He smiled broadly at the lasses with his new teeth. “I am sorry ladies. My bride vowed to take me for better or worse. Teeth or no teeth. To her I must stay true.”

    As Valerie and Reggie’s marriage grew stronger, Valerie bacame more and more beautiful by the day. Because afterall, this is a fairy tale and everything has to end just perfect!

  76. Those are mine, or at least they were for a short while. I really can’t stand my HMO and a few years ago I figured out that I was losing money by not reaching the maximum cap on my dental plan every year. So I talked to my dentist and we planned ahead for the day I would lose all my teeth, which I thought was unavoidable but which my dentist thought very avoidable, but he also is not aware of my addiction to all things sugary and wonderful. Anyway, he started assembling a set of dentures for me and every year he would add a little bit more and bill my insurance. He worked for years on them and just kept adding more and more, but when he ran out of teeth to reasonably replace, he went back and added some nice touches like the gold and all that crazy swirly stuff on the sided. I told him I really just need him to bill the stupid insurance company and I didn’t need all that crap, but he insisted that it would look really cool and be in style when I would eventually need them. The whole thing kind of got away from him and when I finally told him they were ugly and there was no way I would ever wear them he got all insulted and stopped seeing me. The charges stopped showing up on my insurance statements so I figured it was all over. I have no idea how they got from him to you though and I don’t really care. You can keep them. I’d show you proof thet they are mine but I’m afraid I’d get brought up on fraud charges since I still have all my natural teeth. I still think they’re ugly.

  77. The last time i saw these dentures were on the set when i was an prop assistant for the filming of “Goldfinger” in 1963. They were designed by a Swiss dentist that was hired for the specific need for dentures to fit actor Gert Frobe who was cast as Auric Goldfinger. Sadly the film clips of use of these dentures ended up on the editors floor. The 007 movie starring Sean Connery opened in London 1964. Released in the USA 1965 by EON Production Co. Ltd. . It won 2 Oscars.

  78. Let see…
    The teeth obviously belong to Will Smith. It was used as a replacement for his real teeth when he was still in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air(that explains why they are antique, it was quite a while since that show was created!). Also, since he was The Fresh Prince, the owner of the teeth, Will Smith, was a prince… a rapper prince actually.
    One day when Will Smith was playing football(see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Smith_%28American_football%29), one of the people in the other team managed to throw the ball at him. Will Smith was able to intercept the ball, but he caught the ball with his mouth, breaking all of his teeth. Will needed some new teeth for TV, so he got some dentures, but since he was smokin rich at the time(pending citation), he got some gold chompers instead, because… well he was a rapper, so the rapper instinct in him wanted him to get the gold pair. He wore the teeth for about a year, but then, when he found out that it was only 23 carat gold instead of 24 carats, he flipped out and bought some normal teeth instead so he wouldn’t be conned again. Thus, he gave away his teeth, which explains how your client received the teeth.

  79. Ok. so i honestly think that if these teeth are true porcelain that they once belonged to Marie Antoinette. it looks like a design she would like and with all the sugar she ate… (she does like her cake) and on the roof of the dentures there are two intials I.A. and next to that is a swiggly 37. if you were to trace these numbers and initials back to the denture database you can probably find them. also dentristry wasnt practised till the late 1800’s. before that if you had foul teeth they just ripped them out and you remained gummy.

  80. I know of these teeth that you speak of because I have seen a similar pair myself. However the pair I saw were smaller and looked like they were made for a woman.

    You see, one day 23 years ago, I was visiting my grandparent’s house in Tukwila, a suburb of Seattle, Washington. It was a rainy day, as they all are in Seattle so I had to play inside. My grandparent’s had a two story house built in the baby boomer years of America. The upstairs had three bedrooms, one stuffed with ancient child’s toy I had long since exhausted of enjoyment and the usual family rooms.

    The downstairs was a garage with my grandfather’s room. In the center of this large room was a model train city, complete with buildings and multiple tracks, built by my grandfather. Nearby was a large offset printing press that my grandfather had worked with all during his career. After the second World War, my grandfather apprenticed under a print shop and learned his way up from, eventually managing a shop in South Seattle’s industrial district.

    It was in this room that I was poking around, biding the rain. My grandfather had numerous boxes underneath the railroad city, most unmarked. I rifled through the boxes, thumbing through ancient photos with my grandmother’s anal handwriting noting the date and subjects. I came across mementos from my grandfather’s time in the military. I saw medals, photos from his time in the European front and other random things from that time.

    And a set of this teeth you speak of. These were smaller though, almost like they were built for a lady. I gingerly touched them and recoiled when I discovered how cold they were. Building up my courage, I picked up them to study them. They were dusty but gleams of light shone through the age.

    I took them upstairs to where my grandfather was sitting in his chair, watching some form of golf. I presented them to him and asked what they were.
    He slowly turned to him and when he saw what I held in my hand, he took in a sharp breath. His eyes twinkled as he took in the sight.

    “Those,” he said “those I have not seen in a long time.”

    “Where did you get them?”


    “You’re hungry?”

    “No, it’s a country. I was there fighting Jerry during the War.”

    “How did you get them?”

    He sighed. Took a long slow drink. Cracked his neck.

    “I got them from a couple I helped.”

    “It’s their teeth?”

    He nodded.

    “How did you get them?”

    “A couple of rich Jews were hiding out from the Krauts and wanted us to help them. At first we said no but they offered us these teeth. They said they didn’t have anything else, that they had bribed the rest of their possessions to others to help them. These teeth were all they had left.”

    “There was two?”

    “Yeah, the lord and the lady had matching sets. My friend took the man’s and I took the lady’s.”

    “Did they get away?”

    He shook his head slowly.

    “We helped them out of town but they got caught further on. We told them to head west but maybe they got lost. We found them a few weeks on when we pressed forward to another village.Their bodies where lying in an abandoned house, clutched together and riddled with bullets.”

    He looked at me quietly and I looked from his face to the teeth. I traced the design set into the gums and he watched quietly.

    “You understand what I just said?”

    I shook my head no.

    “Give it time. You will.”

  81. I climbed the stairs to my office, a single room on the second floor in a building that had seen better days. Paint at the window edge was faded and cracked; warped sections of ceiling dipped and bowed from water damage; every door had to be heaved or shoved to accommodate the bend that the structure had adopted; the stairs creaked with each lumbered footstep. Truth be told, most of my better days were part of the past as well. This sad reflection, aided by the lack of any profitable work, ensured that I didn’t just pack up and move shop to a more respectable location. Sure, a shiny new office in an upscale building could do wonders for my credibility, but at this stage of the game it felt like I’d be leaving a wounded partner to die alone in the cold. You can say a lot about the type of work I do and the sort that I’m accustomed to working with, but I’m still honest. Uncompromisingly so.

    I’d eased into the worn leather of my desk chair, hands covering my eyes and massaging my temples, trying to work out the strain that a lack of sleep saddles you with. My mind sifted through the pain to find today’s agenda – nothing new in over a month. The only active work I had was a missing person’s squabble that looked more and more like a typical runaway. I’d met with the investigating officer earlier in the week; he’d confirmed what I already knew: nothing new in the police report, no leads, no resources to chase leads if they even got any. The fellow that hired me was wise to the lack of police interest. He knew what it looked like, even if he didn’t want to accept that it was just that – a young lady runs off in the night, single bag packed, heady dreams of fortune, a rough suitor in tow. Maybe she’s pregnant and Pop’s religious. Maybe he’s a drunk or violent or grabby in his off hours. With a missing person job, time is of the essence. I’d just about run out of that, and, barring some hot tip from a jealous ex or a keen friend, – neither of which I’d been able to track down – this case was about to grind to a halt, along with the stipend I was operating on.

    I’d opened the bottom desk drawer and had my hand on the office bottle when I clued into the creaking stair case. Probably a patient for the head doctor down the hall. One thing’s certain – the older it gets, the harder it is to keep together.

    I withdrew my hand from the bottle when the doorknob to my office twisted. Launching from the leather chair and skirting the desk I cut towards the door and heaved it open.

    She was about 5’, if that, and at least two inches were a mass of white hair. Hand still outstretched for the doorknob; she looked up at me with worried eyes.

    A breathless sentence poured out of her. “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, where is my mind today, you’re not the doctor, this is the wrong office, my head is just swimming after everything, please excuse me.”

    She backed away from the door.

    With a seemingly aimless expression she continued to wander up the hall, looking for the right door.

    “Not a problem ma’am. You’d be surprised by how many make the mistake.”

    She stopped her forward shuffle and turned. Her eyes were wet, makeup running down her cheeks. Something was eating her up. Despite the early worried look and spitfire sentence, I had a feeling this lady didn’t usually make simple mistakes. Her dress was respectable, not the height of fashion or anything but pricey enough to suggest comfortable solvency. It was obviously selected with care.
    Her next words were even, “You’ve got kind eyes sir, thank you for that. My head’s just not been right the past few weeks, but I suppose we all deal with loss in different ways.” In the jumble of her earlier remarks I’d missed the accent. It was subtle, but obviously European. My money was on France.

    What makes me good at my job isn’t any secret. It’s not a strong-arm technique; intimidation and the tough guy act are a fiction best left in paperbacks in this business, more likely to shorten the life expectancy than solve a case. I’m no Sam Spade; I don’t even carry a piece. No, the reason that I get the job done – or at least most done – is attention to detail and insatiable curiosity.
    “We never expect to lose ma’am, it goes against the idea that things will get better. And it never comes when you expect it.”
    I was placating, but I was also casting a line.

    “Oh how right you are. Henry – my son, his name was Henry – he was…,” her voice broke, more tears welled up from inside, “..was all I had. All I had left.”

    I moved closer to her, placed a hand on her small shoulder in support. “Come on now ma’am, let’s have a sit in the office. I think we both use a cup of coffee.”

    She sniffled and nodded at the same time. I led her by the elbow back to my office, past the desk to a small couch in the corner.
    She sat and sniffled and I put the coffee on. I scoured the room for some cups and fixings – hopefully she’d take it black. Cream was not something I kept in stock. As I set about preparing the cups I casually asked, “If you can stomach me asking – what happened to Henry?”

    She looked up at me and stifled a sob. “He ran-off with the wrong crowd. You must understand that my Henry was good – good in his heart. A strong man like his father. But he needed more than the strength you get from being a son. He needed a father to show him that strength.”

    I handed her a brimming cup and set the sugar on the low table in front of her. “Every boy does ma’am. Has your husband talked to the police? Is there a missing person’s file on him?”

    “Oh no, no no no. I’m not married sir. Henry was all I had. John never really acknowledged him; aside from the money he quietly sent he’d never been part of our lives. Wouldn’t even let Henry take Pershing as his second name.”
    Henry’s father was a man named John Pershing. Not an uncommon name, but it did ring a bell, and a big bell at that. I’d served under a man with that name. Hell, anyone who went over to Europe with the American Expeditionary Force served under him. He was a four-star general then, a real lead from behind character. And according to the word in the trenches, the General’s boots were the cleanest in the army, as they were frequently located next to a double bed.

    She sighed and rubbed her eyes, “Listen to me, feeling sorry for my lot! Blabbing on and on to a nice stranger. Where is my head at!” She stirred sugar into her coffee and cautiously sipped at it. Mine was sharp and bitter and I imagined hers was just as tepid, but she graciously didn’t complain.

    My interest had been piqued. I’m particularly fond of rumors, gossip and hearsay; they always layout a good roadmap to the truth. “Not a problem ma’am. Sometimes it’s good just to let it all out. I’m of the curious sort anyways.”

    Her eyes looked me up and down. I knew she was sizing up my interest in her, trying to make a guess at what sort of man sat before her. I put on what I thought was an endearing smile; she settled with herself. “Well, I knew that John would never marry me. I kept Henry because I wanted someone to love me. Maybe I dreamed that John would see the child and realize. . . something. That never happened. I swallowed my pride and accepted his money; it was enough to get us out of the hardest times. But Henry’s accident came at an awful time. We needed help and John was the only one I could turn to.”

    The words were spilling out of her now. Loneliness forces you to keep your heart bottled-up, and sometimes a sympathetic ear is just as good as a professional one.

    “I pleaded with John for help. Henry’s had got it pretty severe. The doctor’s had said that some of the wounds would never heal. His face would be permanently disfigured. Lord, they had to pull a lot of the remaining teeth out – shattered and useless I guess. But the real problem was in his head. My Henry was a beautiful boy, the apple of my eye surely and he turned a lot of heads, but that was all over. He thought himself a monster and his mind turned to nightmares and hallucinations. They had him on all kinds of medicine to reduce the pain, especially in the beginning, and I could see the need grow in his eyes. I’d seen that so much before. All the boys in the war, body twisted and mind hobbled.” The coffee cup was clutched between her hands resting above her knees. Her eyes fixated on the murky blackness.

    “After a lot of convincing, John visited Henry in the hospital. I thought it might be good for Henry. Might bring him around, maybe it could start a relationship. John was no stranger to horror, the war had seen to that. And after that first visit, it seemed almost possible. John came again and again, he even commissioned some custom teeth for Henry. Spared no expense on them either, all flash and dazzle. Henry told me that he felt like he had a life still. He made leaps and bounds in his recovery. Out of bed and walking the wards, kind words for the misfortunate laid up, a wink to the nurses on the better days. It took a good six months, but he fought hard and made it out of there. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than the day we walked out of that hospital together.”

    Her eyes were far away, as if she was trying to recall something once read or seen but not entirely understood. She put the cup down and smoothed the floral print of her dress, “A few weeks after he’d been out Henry came home distraught. He was angry, knocking glasses and my porcelain over and shouting in a voice that didn’t even sound like his own. He’d gone to see John. He hadn’t heard from him since the last hospital visit, must have been about a month and a half by then. Well, Henry had felt that he’d finally had a father that loved him; I guess John had acted out of obligation, but with the warmth and caring that a true General gives to a single wounded soldier. To John, once Henry was out of the hospital, he was just another man and he told him so. Told him that the only reason he came was because I begged him. I hadn’t mentioned that to Henry, he assumed that his father had come of his own accord. And John had never said anything to the contrary.” She swallowed hard and wiped at one of her eyes, “That drove him off the rails. He vanished and I feared the worst. Maybe the drugs or maybe something much more . . . rash, but I got a letter from him a few weeks ago. He’d run-off with a girl. My Henry wasn’t as much of a looker, but he still had charm. Even if it was for that sort of girl.”

    Henry boy – not as easy on the eyes, but sometimes looking like a dangerous man had its benefits. Throw in an anger management problem and tongue capable of sweet and salty and you got a recipe for the tough guy act. Just the sort of guy a woman who needs an out might go looking for.

    A silence sat between us as I absorbed her last statement. She had regained her composure. I offered another cup of coffee and she declined. She was finished with the emotional outburst. Finished with pouring out her heart to a complete stranger, however innocuous it might seem.

    She stood up and said, “Well, I’m sorry to yammer on in your ear, but you’re the only person that’s really listened. I’ve gone off to a couple others, but when you’re paying them or they feel obliged it certainly doesn’t feel as,” she searched for the last world for a long second, “cathartic.”

    I rose to my feet and walked along side her to the door, partly to lend a steady arm – which she no longer seemed to need – but also to ask my parting question, “Again ma’am, no problem at all. I pride myself on being an excellent listener. I do have one question for you though, and please forgive my curiosity, but may I ask where Henry had posted the letter from?”

    She paused, thought to herself and responded, “Certainly dear. It came all the way from Australia. Can you believe that! I’ve never been myself, but I do love the beach and Henry say’s they have a lot of those.”

    I grinned and extended my hand, “Well, if you get it in your mind to head down there, let me know – I’m pretty handy with travel arrangements, Miss?”

    “Martin, Adrienne Martin,” her hands clasped around mine. She pulled a half curtsy.

    “Clifford Lewis, at your service,” I dipped into a little bow, not really part of my repertoire, but it seemed appropriate.
    And with that, and a much brisker step than that of her entrance, she walked out of my office, turned to the left and creaked her way down the stairs. I like to think that she skipped the doctor because of my kindliness and coffee. Maybe she just forgot why she came up those stairs in the first place. Maybe I was just excusing myself for pumping an old lady for information.

    I slid over to my chair with a fresh cup of coffee, did a little doctoring with the office bottle from the bottom drawer and dialed the operator. A familiar tone and a sweet voice and I started the day’s work with, “Hello operator, I’d like to place an international call.”

  82. It seems that this remarkable denture can not be older than 1770 as before dentures used to be made out of animal teeth (hippopotamus) or dead bodies teeth.

    In 1770, Alexis Duchâteau designed for himself the first porcelaine denture (link in french: http://www.ordre.pharmacien.fr/upload/ActuStruc/623.pdf). He tried to design dentures for other famous people but with no sucess.

    It seems that Nicolas Dubois Chémant stole Duchâteau’s idea and improved it. He called his new denture “dents incorruptibles” and obtained a 15 year exclusivity brevet from King Louis XVI, on september 6th 1791. In the same time, he also “selled ” the process to Great Britain.

    Alexis Duchâteau and other dentists intended him on a lawsuit, but failed. (http://www.bium.univ-paris5.fr/sfhad/vol15/2010_12.pdf).
    Nevertheless Nicolas Dubois Chémant moved to Great Britain just after the case, escaping the revolution, and maybe also his ennemies!

    I found a quite similar denture on the internet:
    if the text corresponds to the picture, it would be from 1839, designed by Nelson Goodyear with vulcanite technique.

    Eventhough there is no link between Duchâteau and Australia, I think it would be nice if it was the original one made by Alexis Duchâteau ( but it’s maybe already somewhere in a museum)!

  83. These were never actually used for teeth at all, though of course nobody could blame anybody for thinking so. Teeth were made for gnawing, for attractive smiles, for running up hefty bills at the dentist, and for biting lips-not necessarily one’s one. These “teeth” however, were made by a certain lip-biter who craved another’s lips to gently bite on. Birson Bickson was the sort of artist who came up with lots of projects that were impressive in the time and effort and detail that would be put into them, but sadly lacked in marketability. There was the tiny rubber whale that would squeak profanities from its blowholes when squeezed. There was a keyboard he designed alphabetically—which included spelling out the numbers and punctuation keys and space bar. And so on, and on; his attic and basement and closets all filling up with his art. If Birson had been well-known enough, he would have been infamous for creating worthless crap. And then there were these teeth.

    Birson was obsessively and pointlessly in love with this woman Julia Deal. This all happened in the mid 1990’s, when the dating world had definitely reached the point of being comfortable with pepper-spraying creeps and sleeping with perfect strangers. Julia fit in perfectly. Birson did not. Only one of them lived through the date which Julia accidentally accepted. Birson had known Julia for about 2 weeks. They both worked for the same telemarketing company, selling space in the phone book. Birson had noticed her and swore he detected a hint of vulnerability and deepness and originality beyond the vapid eye-rolling and faddish clothing. Perhaps a kindred spirit, somebody who would want to read poetry backward with him. He was wrong of course. She was flirting with the fashionable guy on her left who constantly bragged about how much he could drink and drive without getting pulled over.

    Birson left a note on Julia’s desk while she was plucking her eyebrows in the ladies’ room. She picked it up and smiled at the man on her left, who smiled stupidly back. She read it and laughed at the quirky, desperately sincere letter, which she assumed was the good-looking man’s way of being funny. The note told her to meet him at 8 in the evening, in front of Hannah’s Barbequed Muffin Shop (actually a model pawn store) and to be dressed in dark blue, which would go well with her new present.

    She arrived on time and in blue. The street was quiet and she felt awkward standing by herself. She did not expect the man who she vaguely remembered drinking directly from the water cooler to walk up after a few minutes, nor did she expect him to introduce himself as her date. Too confused to protest, she stood dumbly when he shyly reached into a box.

    “I made you a crown.” He carefully placed the golden teeth on her head and beamed. She looked at herself in the window of the pawn shop and then again at Birson. She grabbed the crown off her head and finally found her voice.


    He pointed to the different details, oblivious to her rising anger. The similarity between her teeth and the ones on the crown. The heart engraved on the top, “because she’d eaten his.” The golden swirls that “were like mice tails running around in her hair.” She quickly concluded that Birson was the type of man you pepper-sprayed and ran from, or even threw a golden toothy crown at if that were closer. It happened to be. She hurled it at him, knocking him in the throat and then took off. He tried to gasp for air but couldn’t. The crown lay on the sidewalk broken in two and he was soon sprawled out on the cement next to it, very much dead. Her aim had been unexpectedly perfect.

    The only person that saw was Hannah, the older woman who owned Hannah’s Barbequed Muffins with her husband. Never one to pass up anything shiny or interesting she dashed outside to grab the crown, stepping around the body to get it. Police were called 20 minutes later, though Hannah claimed not to have seen or heard anything when they questioned her, as she certainly didn’t want to give up her new, very expensive-looking piece of merchandise. She found a prominent place in her shop for it, but just like before, still the public had no interest in Birson’s art regardless of what she charged. Thousands of people saw it, laughed at it as a creepy novelty item, and went on with their browsing. Frustrated with the lack of attention, she created a vague story about a prince and asked an antique dealer to sell it for her. He foolishly agreed, unaware that there was no prince, only a lovesick artist who died trying to give a woman a truly awful crown and never earned a cent for his work. Not an unusual fate for us artists, unfortunately.

  84. This dude I know told me a story about those things, and he knows stuff like this so I believe him. This guy who traveled a lot was in a poker game with this dude name Lando, and the pot got really huge because everyone had a totally sweet hand, and Lando bet his car or a spaceship or something, and the dude ended up winning. Anyhow, the dude had run out of chips or cash or whatever too, so he had bet that set of gold teeth, and when he won the ship he just grabbed the cash and the keys and left all that other stuff on the table because he didn’t want to bother with trying to pawn a bunch of garbage. So he bolts, but he left the teeth, and this other guy grabbed them who was watching. But the dude, he got them from his girfriend who ran a bar way up north. She could really drink because there was nothing else to do. Mostly it just snowed. This crazy big guy came in one day all happy because he just trapped this monster-big bear thing in a trap and when he skinned it he found that it had a big set of gold fake teeth. The story going around for years was that that monster thing had been running around in those mountains with his gold teeth that some little elf dude had made for him because he felt bad for him and wanted to try being a dentist. He had been a mean bear, and then mellowed out after his real teeth we stolen, but once he got new fake ones that were all tricked out he turned into a bit of a jag and everyone wanted to put him right. So this big guy walks into the bar and starts buying rounds but all he can pay with are these gold teeth. So the girlfriend takes them but she can’t sell them because nobody out in the snowy woods needs gold teeth. She ends up giving them to the poker game dude for Christmas or something, but he thinks it’s kind of a sucky gift and he stops going to see her so much. So he leaves them on the table at the poker game and this guy with a huge head and weird fingers grabs them and he gets in his ship and takes off but he forgot to get gas and he’s halfway to somewhere else and runs out of gas and has to pull off his spce highway or whatever he’s on and he’s a but of a drinker so the landing isn’t so great and he ends up wrecking his ship a bit but this kid finds him and the teeth and when his gets picked up by AAA he forgets all about the teeth. So now the kid has them in his pocket and he goes to the beach and finds this video game that make him grow, but not just big, like older too. But he has no money to buy anything cool, so he pawns the teeth and goes on a real bender at some girly bars and stuff. He can’t hold his liquor and totally forgets where he left the teeth so he can’t go back and get them. He thought about it a lot when he was stuck on this island later, but he never remembered, even after this mermaid lady saved him. Somebody must have bought them from the pawn shop though, because now you have them. That’s how I heard it.

  85. Yes it would have had been someone like the famed Piano play Liberace, I can’t think of anyone more extravagant than he. or maybe Marco Polo, Wow what a find, The Gold in then there teeth must be worth as much as the Historical value.

  86. Long ago, in a land of lush, green valleys and harsh, dry deserts, there was a little kingdom ruled by a wise and powerful king. The king was beloved by his people, but hated by his enemies for his enormous wealth. In order to protect himself, the king had brave knights, sharp-eyed archers, and a royal food taster named Dent.
    Dent loved the king and faithfully tasted every meal, ensuring the king would not die at the hands of a fearful enemy.
    One day the king became very ill. The court physicians puzzled over his bedside for days but could not find a cure. They thought perhaps he was under an enchantment and searched throughout the kingdom for anyone with knowledge of such spells. Soon after the search began an old woman appeared at the palace gate.
    “I possess the wisdom of the ancient ones,” she whispered to the guards in a husky voice that cracked and wheezed with age. “I can find a cure for the king!”
    The guards took her straight to the king’s bedchamber, and she approached his side. She stared at him carefully for a long moment. At last she spoke.
    “I have the cure you seek,” she whispered in his ear. He turned a hopeful, fearful eye to her. “There is only one way to break this enchantment,” she continued. “If you eat the roots of the blood-red flowers that bloom in the Dragon’s Cave, you will be healed.”
    The king whispered his thanks to the woman. His servants paid her few pieces of gold and sent her on her way. Then the king called for Dent.
    The king told Dent what the old woman had said, and asked if Dent would be brave enough to venture into the Dragon’s Cave at the edge of the kingdom to retrieve the mysterious flower.
    “This could be a clever trap,” said the king. “This flower could have been planted by my enemies. You must find it and taste it so we can be sure the old woman spoke the truth.”
    Dent agreed and set off at once. He journeyed for three days, up and down steep hills, through deep, hushed forests, and over scorching desert sands. When he reached the cave, he crept quietly to the entrance. Even though it was dark, he could see the blood-red flowers growing in tiny bunches in the damp earth…right next to the sleeping Dragon.
    Dent cautiously crept by the monstrous, snoring lizard. The Dragon’s hoard covered the floor and sat in great piles in the corners of the cave. But Dent took no notice of the riches. He began to dig up a bunch of flowers. He heard the dragon stir, but when the beast did not wake he continued digging. When he’d gotten the tiny roots out of the ground, he stood and turned to leave. And as he turned, he caught sight of his reflection—in a huge, moist, gleaming, amber eye.
    Dent started to run but the Dragon was too quick. With a lash of its mighty tale, the Dragon caught Dent and slammed him against the wall. Dent was stunned, and the Dragon roared in victory. As celebratory dragon-fire illuminated the cave, Dent’s head cleared and he quickly dropped under the billowing smoke that filled the cavern. He scurried out unseen, far into the bright sunlight where the Dragon would not dare to follow, clutching the flowers close to his chest.
    When he’d traveled a little ways from the cave, he eagerly put the root to his mouth to take a bite. It was then he realized that the dragon’s blow had knocked out his teeth. He couldn’t chew!
    “What will I do?” he thought. “How can I save the king?”
    He began walking back to the palace. When he reached the middle of the great, looming forest he saw a little house in the middle of a clearing. Curious, tired, and hungry, he knocked on the door. A kind, old man answered.
    “Can I help you, my son?” he asked.
    Dent opened his mouth to speak, but then remembered his teeth. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in helplessness.
    The old man stared at him. Dent bashfully smiled a gaping smile in hopes the man wouldn’t think him senseless.
    The man asked, “Can you write, my son?”
    Dent nodded furiously.
    “Good,” the old man said. “You can write, and I can read. Tell me your story.”
    He took Dent to a sturdy table and pushed pencil and paper toward him so he could convey his tragic tale.
    When he’d finished, the old man read his story—how the king lay ill and how the Dragon had rendered Dent helpless.
    “I think I can help you,” he said, nodding. “I am a skilled craftsman. I can make you new teeth.”
    Dent’s eyes widened in surprise. New teeth?
    The old man smiled as if he could read Dent’s thoughts. “Yes,” he chuckled. I see no reason why it cannot be done. I just need something to form them with. Something strong, but easy to mold and shape. I’m afraid I can’t spare very much from my little shack.
    Dent’s face drooped in disappointment. He didn’t have any of his few possessions with him. His payment from the king was board and bed, sufficient, but hardly helpful at a time like this. Dejected, he shoved his hands into his pockets. And he felt something. Something cold and round and hard. He pulled out his hand and there he found a handful of treasure—priceless gold and gleaming pearls!
    Dent’s mind began to race. Where had these riches come from? Then he remembered the Dragon’s Cave and the hoard piled all the way up to the ceiling. When he was thrown against the wall, some of the treasure must have been jarred loose and fallen into his pocket!
    He eagerly handed the coins and pearls to the old man. The old man looked at him with surprise and opened his mouth as if he wanted to ask a question, but then he nodded again and took the coins to his workbench. All through the night his forge-fire leapt and flared, making great shadows dance across the walls of the little hut. He measured and poured and chiseled and polished, and, when the sun rose, he placed brand new, golden, gleaming, pearly teeth into Dent’s mouth. Before Dent could voice his thanks, the old man put up his hand.
    “Test them first,” he said.”We must be sure they fit.”
    Dent grabbed the precious bunch of blood-red flowers and bit into the root—it was only then that he remembered they might be poison and that he might die, right there. But that was his duty as a loyal servant of the king, and he faithfully chewed and swallowed…and then he felt better than he ever had before. He grasped the old man’s hand firmly.
    “Thank you, sir,” he said. “How can I repay you?”
    The old man shook his head. “It is I who should thank you. I’ve had no work for these old hands in months. It felt good to create something again.”
    Dent spied a few leftover coins on the man’s workbench. “Take that gold,” he said. “All that’s left.”
    The old man’s eyes widened as he peered at the gold. “I couldn’t,” he said. “That is the purest gold I’ve ever seen. It’s worth much more than a few teeth.”
    “It’s worth much less than the life of the king,” said Dent. “Take it. Please. With my gratitude.” And he shook the old man’s hand once more and left the little shack, hurrying back to the palace.
    Once inside the gates, he ran straight to the king’s bedchamber and gave him the root, assuring him that it was no enemy trick, and that the old woman had spoken the truth. Soon the king was once again on his throne, feeling as strong and as healthy as the youngest, most powerful knight in his court.
    “I owe you my life, Dent, a thousand times over,” said the king when dinner was served that night. Dent paused from tasting a bowl of steaming soup and looked at the king.
    “It’s my duty, your majesty. And it’s my great honor to serve you.”
    “Nevertheless,” said the king, “I admire your loyalty, and your bravery. I think of you—I think of you as the son I never had.”
    Dent stared into the soup bowl, unsure of what to say. “Thank you, your majesty,” he mumbled respectfully, and went back to tasting the king’s dinner.
    Dent tasted many more meals for the king throughout the years, but one day, when they were both very old men, an enemy soldier slipped into the palace kitchens and placed a poisoned roll onto the king’s plate after Dent had tasted the meal. With Dent occupied with a meal of his own in the palace kitchens, the king had no idea that this dinner would be his last. As the kingdom mourned the death of their beloved monarch, Dent mourned the man who had become a second father to him. He blamed himself for the king’s death, and, in a fit of despair, left the castle, and the kingdom forever. He left all his possessions behind, including the beautiful teeth that he had used in the service of the king for so many years.
    No one ever saw Dent again, but he was never forgotten in the kingdom. The people took his teeth and set them in a glass case near the king’s tomb, as a tribute to the servant he had loved above all others, who had willingly risked his life so many times in the king’s service.
    People came from far and wide to see the golden teeth and marvel at the story behind them. At first it was mostly the local villagers visiting the tomb of their king, but soon goldsmiths and craftsmen from nearby kingdoms came to study the teeth, to see if they could recreate such a marvelous invention. And soon thieves, from places unknown and terrifying, joined the throngs of people hovering near the tomb, and it wasn’t long before Dent’s teeth were stolen by a greedy man whose consuming love for gold drove his every thought and deed.
    Dent’s teeth saw all corners of the kingdom, and eventually traveled across oceans and continents; they paid debts, they bought food, they bribed the powerful, they aided the conniving. They served every purpose except the one they’d been crafted for. And over time, most forgot the story of their origin.
    But there are a few of us who still remember. And who still marvel at the bravery and loyalty of a man called Dent.

  87. “Reginald Typography” read the sign in the window, dingy and faded in the setting sun, as the last
    ounces of day trickled through the window, caressing over stacks of papers and their thick black

    Reginald, was a man of few words, dressed in a suit of faded grey, which made a slight swishing sound
    when he walked. His charm and grace were as dusty as the sign in the store window. His days were
    dedicated to the typography store, a world of papers lying in crinkly stacks, kissed with black inky letters
    of thought and grace.

    With ink stained fingertips, Reginald pressed the key firmly to the lock on the front door and jiggled it
    into place. It was time to meet Molyneux. The deadbolt slid into the door frame with a low clunk and
    his world was secure, locked behind the door of the typography store. He pulled his scarf tight, like a
    wool corset against his aging jowls, which were beginning to hang like wet draperies. His complexion
    was sallow, and his hair was thinning, as he was not a handsome man.

    Mr. Molyneux was a lab technician, living in the outskirts of the city, known for his rare blood disease.
    Although, he was an individual of magnificent ability, few knew of his talents and due to his inability to
    clot, he was isolated from touch and hid behind a world of overstuffed furniture and wads of crumpled
    newspaper taped to every table leg and door frame. With experienced precision and grace, his fragile
    hands sculpted teeth and partial dentures, occasionally adding a personal touch of artistic influence so
    that he may give life to those with no smile and meaning to those of hideous physical being.

    Reginald arrived at Molyneux’s door at exactly 5:30 pm. Molyneux ushered his guest into the receiving
    room, where a silver tea tray waited, and motioned for him to have a seat, in a chair shaped like
    weathered newspapers. Reginald leaned over the tray and gazed upon two small objects of polished
    care, a set of dentures cast almost entirely of gold. As light pulsed across the occlusions of every tooth,
    flowing upward into a broad fan of smooth metal, it was a scintillating moment in a sea of peeling green
    wall paper.

    And with pressure, in his thumb, Molyneux pressed the gold palate, firmly to the roof of Reginald’s
    mouth. The cool composition quickly warmed to temperature, fitting snuggly over the bony mass of
    tissue, pressing a gurgle of saliva out from between the layers like a mayonnaise sandwich. Reginald
    caressed the upper denture with his tongue.

    Molyneux wriggled the second piece in, shoving the thick gold wire beneath the tongue, finding
    its place behind eight yellowed teeth. He smiled behind wrinkled eyes, squinting in satisfaction at
    the craftsmanship of polished porcelain and golden molars. Reginald licked his lips and pursed for
    a moment. His tongue felt dry, like the under pad of a cat’s foot. He pulled his lips back in a long
    forgotten smile, revealing art deco embellishments, slithering across the gingiva like tiny gold snakes,
    meandering into coiled puffs of smoke circles. His facial expressions no longer seemed sunken in. His
    mouth appeared fuller and his jaw line was more defined. He was complete.

    Reginald was a man of few words, dressed in a suit of faded grey, sporting a set of new false teeth.
    His charm and grace were as dusty as the sign in his store window, but inside there was a feeling of

    something unfamiliar, and it felt like gold. -written by Lydia Quinones

  88. These were owned by my great great great grandmother, Mamie Prince. She was an adventurous woman and had them made during an excursion to the Middle East and Africa in the mid-1800’s. They weren’t quite what she asked for, but once she started wearing them she had the time of her life. She had wanted a nice pair of dentures (they used real teeth bought from peasants, the way we sell blood now), and being a wealthy woman she wanted a beautiful case to keep them in on her dresser at night. She had her few remaining bad teeth removed, and impressions taken. The artisan from whom she ordered the teeth, to be delivered to her ship before it left harbor in two days, was skilled in jewelry and other crafts as well. Mamie, always a reserved woman, didn’t want people to know she was being delivered teeth so she asked the artisan, “Please put my teeth in a red enameled casing, with elaborate gold filigree, and have them delivered to my ship.” She was imagining how well case that would fit the decor of her bedroom and sitting area back in London. You can imagine her surprise when the teeth arrived two days later actually encased in the decorative artwork! What did she do? First, she laughed until she could hardly breathe, the tears running down her toothless face. Then she put them in her mouth, smiled into her looking glass, and went for a stroll. People loved them, and she was treated like royalty wherever she went. Back home, people started calling her Princy, rather than Mamie. These teeth were too fine to be buried with her, and so were passed down in the family along with the story. They were stolen sometime in the 1940’s, but they have lived on in the heart of the family as stories told at family every gathering. We didn’t think we’d ever see Mamie’s teeth again! I myself had never seen them; only heard the story. But of course I have her portrait which hangs in my very own parlor. Enclosed, please find a picture of the portrait, where you’ll see these self same teeth in the smile of grandma Mamie.

  89. May 9, 1851

    My Dear Lady Lyda,

    I don’t suppose you expected a letter from me before I even left. Show it to your father— perhaps its promptness will convince him that the strength of my affection outweighs the inadequacy of my finances. I may be a poor farmer’s son, but Tom Liddle seems to think my skills as a wheelwright are worth something. He has promised that if I can prove myself a valuable addition to his wagon train, he will charge me only half the cost of my supplies. Proving my worth should not be difficult, as I am the only man among our party who can write a decent song to play, and Old Susana cannot sustain us forever. If only Tom could have persuaded your father that this country suitor will amount to something in good time. But I suppose the selfish man would rather have me serenading his wagonfull of grizzly coal miners than my lovely future bride.
    I cannot stop thinking how much I already miss you. I passed by our future home when I came into Chadum to trade for supplies, and all the garden flowers were in full bloom. They were caught in the light, and so bright against the white of our little castle walls that it reminded me of the dress you wore to the mayday parade. Even if gold gushes from the California springs, I will turn around and leave as soon as I collect enough money to please your father and settle us in our white house in town.

    Your Prince of Chadum

    August 15, 1851
    Dearest Lyda,

    At last, we’ve settled in California. I have not started panning yet, since it is late evening as I write. As we were driving in yesterday, we met a group of miners traveling back to their home towns. They had not found gold, but silver. One man claimed to carry 20 lbs in his wagon! He had already silver-plated both his saddle and his well-used liquor flask. I suppose you should begin considering whether you would prefer silver or gold plated sofa cushions.
    I hope you have received my earlier letters, and enjoyed them as much as my travel companions did. They intercepted the last one before I was able to seal it, and read it aloud to the amusement of all present. Each time we make a new acquaintance, I am now introduced as The Prince of Chadum.
    My candle is running low, but I miss you and will write to you next week, by which time I will have gathered a substantial portion of our marriage funds.

    The Prince

    June 19, 1852
    Darling Lyda,

    Sweet peas grow beside the river we have been panning in these past two weeks. The flowers are delightful, and the vines curl like the yellow ringlets that frame your face. I see them and imagine you sitting there, watching me build our life up from this sparkling dust. When I open my wheelwright shop in Chadum, I plan on carving these charming plants onto the sign.
    Today I found my first gold nugget. It is the exact size of your left nostril. No doubt it will soon be accompanied by nuggets the size of your eye and puckered lips. I have already collected an ounce of gold dust which I carry beneath my shirt in a belt around my waist. Some of the men are prone to gambling and drinking anything they are able to ferment, and intoxicated debt-riddled prospectors tend to have sticky fingers. Most mean no harm, though.
    I received your latest letter three days ago. But we pan from dawn to dusk, and I have been hard-pressed to find a candle that is not illuminating a game of poker. It is good hear that you have been enjoying your cousin Prudence’s company, but did you really share two dances with Jim Clady? When I am in the mood to laugh, I often recall the time you so rightly observed his resemblance to a duck. Come to think of it, the Cladys could be a family of fowl: Martha a chicken, Louise a crow, and doubled-chinned Mrs. Clady a fat old mother pelican. I send my sympathy to the poor woman who will have to devise socks for his children’s webbed feet!
    I hope the bruises Jim undoubtedly left while dancing on your toes are healed by the time this letter reaches you.

    Affectionately yours,
    The Prince of Chadum
    September 26, 1852
    Dearest Sweet Pea,

    Perhaps your last letter was lost during its journey, as I have not received one in 3 months. I have been anxiously waiting, and hoping you are not taken ill. I know, though, that you have always been strong as a horse – likely healthier than the poor beasts that we burden with our letters. I tell myself that the long silence is due to their weak constitutions rather than yours.
    I have paid off all of my travel debts and now have two thirds of the money required to pacify your ox of a father! I do not mean to offend, I am just anxious to return and missing you terribly.
    Do you recall the poem by Donne that we came across in Miss Viles’s library? For the past few weeks, I have been unable to get these few lines out of my mind:
    Our two soules therefore, which are one,

    Though I must goe, endure not yet

    A breach, but an expansion,

    Like gold to ayery thinnesse beate.

    My panning has fallen into the rhythm of this poem. It has proven a welcome consolation, and, incidentally, an equally effective technique. In recent weeks I have recovered almost twice as much gold as any other prospector. When the men comment on my sudden luck, I smile and think of you.

    Anxiously Awaiting your Reply,
    Your Prince of Chadum
    March 17, 1853
    Dear Lyda,
    Today I weighed my gold and counted the money I have earned repairing wagon wheels and instruments, and have found that I could return to you by train within a week’s time. Unfortunately, it seems you no longer need me. I received a letter from my mother last week. I provide a sample below:
    “We were invited to Jim Clady’s for tea yesterday. Last month he married that sweet girl Lyda Wharton, now, of course, Mrs. Clady. Lyda is quite the homemaker. She had embroidered the table cloth with lovely twisting vines, and served a wonderful hot-water gingerbread – I asked for the recipe.”
    I suppose I should offer my congratulations. Might I also commend your good taste in linen patterns.

    Orville Berry
    May 10 1878
    Dear Lyda,

    I think enough time has passed that I can write you as an old friend. I will admit that for far too many years I hoarded my gold like the sentimental old troll that I am, hoping we might still have a future together. Today, though, I can prove by my smile that this illusion has finally faded. I cannot imagine you have aged much over the years –I am sure, at least, that time has only brought the grace of maturity to your always beautiful face. I, on the other hand, am a toothless old loon. But even a decrepit, disinherited prince wants his crown, so I recently used the gold that would have bought our life together to make myself the finest set of dentures this great state has ever known. I told the craftsmen that I wanted my teeth fit for royalty —to my surprise, he very fittingly adorned the gums with scrolls that closely resemble sweet pea vines. I am faring well— I have a little repair shop, one of the four business establishments in our little metropolis. Although I never found another princess that could rival my first love, my teeth are now the envy of every child who stops in with a broken hobbyhorse.

    Everyone in town still knows me by the nickname my fellow prospectors gleaned from my letter to you those many years ago. So although our lives did not follow the plan we laid out in our youth, I will forever remain,

    The Prince of Chadum

  90. It is near 11 on the West Coast. Even if this is late, I hope this adds a bit of story to these amazing teeth.

    I do not relay this family story with any sort of pride. What I am about to tell you is one of those stories usually kept within families, and more often than not, conveniently forgotten. I think I know these teeth, as much as anybody who has heard the story as my grandfather told. He learned the story, not from his father, but from his grandfather. The intricate detail of the teeth, the color, and their composition look to be as described in a story he told me as a teenager. I can also shed light as to why somebody might forget or not know the story behind these teeth.
    I am not exactly how far the story goes back, but as it is told, at the turn of two centuries ago, there was family that lived south of Ouarzazate, in Morocco, in what was then a village centered around one home. It is now nothing more than a stretch of road with a few houses and is better known as a obscure landmark on the way to Algeria. Near the remains of what must have been a large out of place house is a hand painted sign that reads Maldents, with the sign below, in Arabic, simply being the word for water. Below the signs is a brass well head with a hand pump that looks overly ornate. The few people pass along the road do not see the sign. Those that do see the sign may stop for water, and if they read French they think that somebody ignorant miss wrote “Bad Teeth”. I can explain the sign, the ornate pump head, as well as the teeth that you’re in possession of.

    A man who claimed to be of royal linage, who claimed to be a descendant of the Merovingians and claimed direct a direct relation to Savoia family of Italy, moved himself and his three sons to Morocco. Nobody knows why he moved to such a remote location, but money was no object for him and his needs. He organized and paid a group of labors to construct a house in a style that would have looked more at home in Northern Italy. The house was built adjacent a string of date palms, on land which he claimed to have bought. As the story goes, he lived in the house with a staff he treated poorly. His son’s were just like his father. They treated all those around them as servants. The sons thought themselves slaves to a tyrant king, though they lived in his lifestyle. The only thing that brought him joy, if that was possible, were the thick skinned dates.

    As the story goes, there was suspicion as to where wealth came from. Some suspected he was a criminal. Others thought that he was of royal linage, but fell out of favor and was being paid to stay away. It is said he spoke Arabic, French, as was heard speaking what was thought to be Italian to his son’s. What is true is that a small village grew around his house to support his needs. He lived like a king in the middle of the desert. What is also known is that the mother was never seen, or spoken of.

    His eldest son was angry at being isolated from the rest of the world. He and his brothers felt entitled to a life that was more lavish than the one’s they lived. They were afraid that once the father died they would have to work. Worse yet, the younger sons worried that they would be subservient to their older brother. The youngest, and most cunning, spoke to his brothers to get them to act. When the eldest son turned 16, he pressed his father about their money and his future. The middle brother supported his older sibling, while the youngest kept quiet.

    The father was angered, but also worried that he had raised three tyrant sons who would kill him, instead of making their own lives in the world. The father offered a challenge to his three sons, figuring that they would either kill each other off or at the very least leave. He agreed to give each son enough money to get an education, learn a trade, or spend away as they wish. In five years, the son that returned with the gift he needed most would inherit everything.

    The sons left almost immediately. The father never expected to see any of his sons again. Within the first year his youngest son returned, dust covered, thin, with nothing more than a box of cooking spices, an amazing set of teeth, and a story. He thought his youngest son would do the best, being the most cunning and patient of his sons.

    The father said, “You return too soon, with nothing more than a set of teeth I do not need. Did you waste your money and steal these from some beggar?”
    The son replied, “I had the teeth made for you, as soon as I made it to Rome. I had planned to study there, but I also knew that I would spend my money before I had a gift for you. If you had seen the smile on the artist that made them, you would know why I knew that he could make a set of teeth for you. You will live long enough to need them.” The son continued to tell a story that made little sense. He supposedly gave all his money to the artisan, thinking it a unique gift that his father would someday need. He told his father that supported himself working in a kitchen and learned to cook while the teeth were being made, and returned because he missed him.

    At first His father said he was not welcome, but after his son pleaded he agreed to let him work in the kitchen.

    As the years went on, the youngest son worked as his father’s cook, rarely getting praise. The father looked to be aging a decade as each year passed. His youngest son went from cook, to also being his nursemaid. The ageing man’s joints ached, his teeth fell out, and hair all but disappeared.

    One day, some five years after he sent his sons out into the world, his other two sons returned. They were both happy to learn that their youngest brother had returned so soon, and was just a cook, his gift rejected. On that first night back, the youngest son, made a meal of tough beef and under cooked potatoes. Their father berated the youngest son for this, as did the older brothers.

    The eldest son wasted no time. He produced a bar of gold, wrapped in a piece of cloth. “I joined a mercenary army, and in war I found this.” The father replied without a pause, despite his labored breathing. “I have no use for a bar of gold.”

    The second son produced a box with a pocket watch in it. He said “I learned watch making, and though I have more to learn, I am giving you my first watch.” The father replied, “I have no use for this. I don’t need clocks to tell me when to eat. Here I eat when I want to. Besides I can no longer even read the hands. You stupid boy.”

    Then the third and youngest son walked over with a plate of dates. The father said, “You are the biggest disappointment. I have not been able to eat anything other than soup for a year. And on this night you couldn’t even make a meal that I can eat. You offer me dates when I could not even break their skin with my mouth. What, what can I do with three failures.”

    The youngest son, said, “Father, my gift.” In the other hand, he held out the teeth again.

    The father looked at the son and squinted. The smell of the food and hunger drove his father to take the teeth. With pain, he put them in. “Its luck they fit”, he said.

    “Father”, the youngest son said, as he proffered a date. With that, a now elderly man, took a bite off the tip of a date. He smiled for the first time in years, “I haven’t been able to chew anything for so long. You may not know how to cook, but you have won. You gave me a gift that I can use.”

    The eldest son departed the next day saying to his father, “I have seen too much of the world to be happy living here.”

    The middle son left two days later. “Father, you have little time left”, the middle son said. His father did not utter a word. The middle son asked for the watch back, and his father continued to be silent.

    On the third day, the youngest son sat next to his father, who was more ill with each passing hour. “Father, my inheritance, where is it? Where is our wealth?”

    The father, near death, replied, “These dates are so good.”

    The son asked, “Where is the gold? Where is the money? Where is my inheritance?”

    The father replied, “Behind the dresser.”

    The son looked, sliding a panel as his father gestured.

    “Father, there isn’t enough here.” The son said. “Where is the rest of it?!”

    “It’s all there. Enough to live like a king here.” The father replied with a smile, as a date dropped from his mouth.

    The son looked at his father and touched him to make sure he was truly dead. “Then I have spent these years poisoning you for nothing.”

    I would love to say, that one of my ancestors was village person who saw or over heard this. I cannot say that. What I can say is one of my family members was the youngest son and that the story of the gold and ivory teeth is told to drive us on to make our own lives in this world.

  91. OK, and WOW!

    …such a fine job, and Thanks To All, for you efforts, theories,and stories…

    Sad that no one actually knows who owned these teeth, and spectacular that so many tried…

    The Contest…Is Over…But the Reward is still open, the first person who can tell us who owned these teeth, will be rewarded with $500.00

    Take Care

    Martin Codina
    CEO Fine Estate

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